A Mind-Blowing Parable

Know about the butterfly effect? Well it’s the theory that a small thing like the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings can lead to large consequences later like a hurricane. I haven’t fully understood the mechanics of how that happens but I feel like I am experiencing the butterfly effect in my life right now, where a small seed that is planted in my mind is sending ripples that are ever expanding and could lead to dramatic life change later on.

Ok so what happened was this – I facilitated the parable of the shrewd manager last Sunday, and as I prepared, I found out that I had misinterpreted this parable all along, or rather had just had a very superficial understanding of what it meant – something about Christians being more shrewd in the world and not getting conned. I never thought very much about the parable and some sentences definitely didn’t link with my explanation. Well, turns out the lesson of parable is nothing about that. In fact, it is a very relevant, very hard teaching that goes against the grain of what society espouses and lauds, and against what our flesh wants, teaching us about the best way to manage our money.

In the parable, a dishonest manager who is going to lose his job, used whatever time he had left while he was still manager to cancel huge debts owed to his master, so that he would have friends who would help him later when he was jobless. Firstly I was like what? Was what he did even legit? Cancelling his master's debts without seeking approval (sorry if my government side is showing - can't shake it off) and why wasn't his master angry? The passage says that the master commended him for his shrewdness!

Ok so first, my research reveals what he did was legit - as he appointed manager he did have some authority over the finances, much like how if you are a Director in a company you can sign off certain checks and approve expenditures up to a certain level. So I can accept that. And at that time he wasn't kicked out yet, just informed he would lose his job in the future. So while what he did was not to the master's benefit, it was not against the law. Another fellow facilitator (the one who went to theological seminary) added that in their society at that time, people were highly reciprocal, so he would expect these people to return the favour later, perhaps in about the same amount. And combined with how he doubted he could find another job after being laid off - the amounts he can cancelled ensured he could live off the favours for life. Pretty shrewd move on his part.

So one lesson we could learn from this is that we should use money, while we still have it, to maximise the benefit or advantage to us in the Long term. In fact the definition of shrewd is to have a good grasp of the situation, using it to one's advantage. Ok so far?

But Jesus says we ought to apply this type of shrewdness to the way we manage our money as Christians, so it's a bit odd. Are we to similarly "con" our Organisations of the money for our own benefit? Are we to provide for ourselves and accumulate wealth at all costs? Well turns out the objective of Christian life and the reward system set up by God are very different from the world's. God wants us to depend on Him and not money (ie not trust money or huge bank balances), and to be like Him (ie kind, compassionate, merciful and abundantly generous). And He rewards people who do that well with eternal treasures in heaven.

Which essentially means we ought to use temporal money to bless others, help the needy, and the more we do it, the more treasures we store up for ourselves in heaven that do not ever fade or disintegrate or lose their shiny newness (like buying freehold land except we get to enjoy it forever and not just for our lifespan). Sounds like a good investment doesn't it? We just don't know the exchange rate :)

So, any selfish Christian who only cares about ourselves and “preparing for our retirement” should do that! In fact the more we can outgive others, the better off we are. Another commentary said we should always manage our money in a way that ensures our dependence is on God and not money, which means not trusting in huge bank balances (akin to barns and huge storehouses of grain).

Ok hard teachings (this trader in our midst kept exclaiming to himself this was very relevant to him) but I am definitely going to accelerate my rate of accumulating heavenly treasures. Gonna set some limits to what I intend to spend and save, and give the rest away…. Gotta be shrewd and not naive!

The Immense Satisfaction of Cooking

I am always on the lookout for moments of true pleasure in my life, either the temporal fleeting kind like “that was such a good cup of mocha” (Laaf cafe at Katong) or the more deep-in-your-belly satisfaction that also warms your heart, reflecting true enjoyment, and which brings back remnants of that feeling whenever you think about it (like writing a blog post I am proud of, or having prepared a very good bible study materials!). Well, turns out, cooking a wholesome, healthy meal for the whole family that does not take a lot of time, uses up food that is soon going bad (reduce food waste!), and costing less than if we ate out, gives me that deeeeep satisfaction I was describing earlier.

Let me describe a recent example that sparked this post – this was a Saturday, when my in-laws were out of town and so we had the whole day to ourselves. After eating out for lunch (yucky fatty Wee Nam Kee chicken rice), I had the idea of making cold noodles for everyone, using instant noodles instead of soba, and adding shredded carrots, cucumbers (which we had plenty) and I just had to go to the supermarket nearby to find some frozen salmon belly or similar meat that I could fry up in a jiffy to serve a delicious satisfying meal.

I managed to buy 2 packets of frozen halibut fillet (5.90 each) but after googling several recipes on how to fry halibut, which all seemed too difficult (need lots of oil to deep fry, or a big oven to bake them), I decided to just improvise and do it with the least time (as dinner time was fast approaching). So I cut up some carrots, the wilting vegetables in the fridge, lots of onions, a little garlic and some oyster mushrooms (to add some protein in case the fish wasn’t enough for so many people), cut up one halibut fillet and started cooking. I opted for noodle soup, which was faster than cold noodles, used the mi goreng instant noodles. So I fried up the garlic and onions, then added water and started cooking the carrots. Then I added the mushrooms, noodles, fish and lastly vegetables and when it was all done, I added the powder seasoning.

The end result was a very yummy (thanks to the seasoning) colourful bowl of noodle soup with lots of vegetables and also rich buttery cubes of fish. I was pleased though the fish wasn’t completely thawed, and I didn’t know the exact amount of time I needed to cook it, it turned out exactly right. I cooked several batches for kids, myself, maid, husband and mom and they all liked it. And they had fibre (unlike when you eat outside), and I only used 1 halibut fillet and half a pack of oyster mushrooms, plus used up those vegetables that we’re going to get thrown away if they didn’t get cooked soon. I think this meal appealed to the healthy-eating, reduce food-waste, economical side of me. *Smile*

80-20

It's that time of the year again, December, when no one (well at least me) really feels like working and after slogging at an insane pace in Oct and Nov (and pretty much all year round), I really feel like slowing down and spending more time with my kids and family and friends. And to take some time off for myself. But alas, work never stops and the two days that I spent back at work turned out to be quite busy and I still haven't managed to clear those few large pieces of work I had been meaning to. Sigh... One way is to take th advice of the nice octogenarian I spoke to at a recent farewell dinner, and to stop vetting everything in great detail (which is what I feel passes my own standard) so that the work can at least proceed and I am not a bottleneck. 80-20 and that sort of thing. Well I think I finally need to do that because I have quite a bit of admin still to do and that dratted work and other urgent but not-important stuff to clear! Sigh...

Michael Crichton - Renaissance Man

I am always on the hunt for new authors and good books. Recently I found a new author called Neal Shusterman who wrote a pretty well-reviewed young adult dystopian trilogy (actually maybe a quarlogy since he has four books in the series) starting with the book "Unwind" and it was pretty good and it introduced new concepts of what a horrible future might hold, but the characters were not memorable Nor outstanding enough, compared to The Hunger Games or Harry Potter or even Lord of the Rings.

Next I should logically have gone on to borrow the next book in the series called "Unwholly" but as it was mostly borrowed out, I hunted through the shelves for my favourite authors and found a new book I had not read from a tried and tested good author -Michael Crichton, called Congo. I must say the title didn't really attract me Nor appeal to me and I would have definitely picked another title if available, but alas I had read all the other Michae Crichton books on the shelf - Micro, State of Play, Disclosure - so I just grabbed it. I mean, a story about some violent evolved gorilla in the Congo rainforest in Africa, it just could not be more unrelatable to a hectic working mom in the city state of Singapore.

However, that is where the hands of a master changes everything. The book was so well-researched and introduced a far-off, alien world in such a layman, accessible and interesting manner, with a sense of grandeur and not even much trying (the subject matter is grand and mysterious enough) on the back of tight, polished writing and a fascinating plot, that you just get easily transposed into the world without much effort (the resistance was picking up the title in the first place) and find your mind being expanded, made to think of science and biology and geography and tribes and cannibalism and early exploration and jungle expeditions, alongside a whopping good story. The action and introduction of new material never stops, and I wonder how he finds out all these new information - if he has been in the Congo rainforest himself, made a trek, climbed a volcano, interacted with gorillas. I also loved the exchanges between the gorilla and the trainer, and understanding how intelligent they can be.

So, suffice to say I am duly impressed by Michael Crichton as a writer and a scientist and geographer and anthropologist and just - all round renaissance man! He makes me feel that this is another genre of writing I could go into - which is something like Lisa Genova - Writers who introduce you to a topic that is not as well understood but immensely relevant to modern day living. Another writer who achieves that is Robin Cook, another one of my favourites because he introduces medical dilemmas, ethical problems associated with medicine and the practice of it, and also the world of doctors and the inner workings of hositals and morgues and police investigations, that is also not as accessible to the common man but also endlessly fascinating. I love reading! And I hope to contribute to this expanding body of work too, in my own way. Perhaps a story on Singapore government and scientific dystopia? Hahaha. Could make for a fun writing assignment.

The Most Important Parenting Book I Have Ever Read

Dear all,

I have just finished reading 2 exciting books and watched a really good movie:

(a) Circle by Dave Eggers
(a) How Children Succeed by Paul Tough (what a name!)
(c) The Imitation Game (movie starring Benedict Cumberbatch!)

It is strange how these 3 books/movies talk about similar concepts in slightly different ways, which mesh and meld into several revelations -

And reading them has convinced me that the most important parenting book I have ever read was this book called "The Baby Book" by Dr William and Martha Sears, and that attachment parenting is the most important and valuable parenting concept I have ever come across (next to the importance of prayer for our kids!).

How Children Succeed is a fascinating book, although I do wish it didn't focus quite so much on academics. But the interesting thing is the importance it gives to attachment to caregivers in early life. I Guess it's quite instinctive, that we should want to protect and nurture the little ones when they are youngest and give them a safe environment to grow up in. However common sense is not so common nowadays with the proliferation of parenting books and styles, especially those that espouse the cry-it-out method at an early age. There is much research to show that that responding in a warm and prompt manner to a very young baby is critical in ensuring they calm down fast and come to think that the world is a safe and predictable place. Not having to worry their needs will be met also allows them to focus their energies on exploring the world and learning. Conversely, leaving a baby to cry and neglected and left alone, not held, for Long periods, repeatedly, causes them not to form secure attachments with their caregiver and not to develop the core part of the brain properly, the part that regulates emotions. This actually goes on to affect their cognitive abilities quite significantly later, not to mention there is probably some emotional scarring. Just imagine, have you ever tried to debug a conplicated excel spreadsheet while under stress? Affects your ability to think doesn't it? That's how early neglect and stress affect a baby's cognitive abilities later on. So it is Soo important that we are healthily attached to our infants and not worry they are trying to manipulate us (below one year old, they can't) or that we are losing our independence (just one year and it will reap immense benefits later on in the kid's life!).

And hence I have been led to conclude that "The Baby Book" which talks all about the science and techniques behind attachment parenting, amongst other helpful tips and knowledge on taking care of your baby the first two years, is the most important parenting book I have ever read :)

The Beauty of Old Age

Today I went for CE’s farewell dinner at this really nice place called Aura Sky Lounge. I realised after I got there that this was the place 2 of my friends got married at, which with the long tables and their overflowing flower arrangements, name plates with stylistic font and 4-course western lunch, was really a nice leisurely European-style wedding lunch. So unlike the Chinese dinner versions (which are nice too in a different way but urgh too many of them). The view there at night was gorgeous and breathtaking, inviting you to hang around outside with a drink in hand while socialising. Even socialising in such a glam place expands your mind, makes you want to talk loftier things, things closer to your heart.

I must say the dinner started on a positive note, with me collecting a red wine rather immediately from a waiter standing strategically near the entrance with a tray full of reds, getting my table number and spotting my colleagues sitting outside. But as I made my way over, I bumped into 2 of my peers in other departments, with whom we had been slogging it out on a new piece of legislation the past few weeks. I must say I was abnormally delighted to see them. Although there were some initial frictions and annoyances working together with one of them (whom I thought was a bit anal and unfeeling), after working round the clock for about a week together, seeing one another's professional expertise showing, having been scolded together, having been in scary meetings with a rather stern AGC together and having had differences with the Ministry together, and complained together over IM, we now feel like comrades, with genuine appreciation of one another is capable of, is about, and who like one another. So I joined them immediately and we ended talking there for quite a while about how our items at the last CE meeting went and other work we were busy with other than the legislation, and generally lamenting on the large volume of work that seemed to plague many employees of my current organisation. I must say it gave me a rather deep sense of satisfaction, to be able to talk happily with people other than those in my dept despite the rather rocky relations this year.

Anyway after a while my boss and colleagues came looking for me (they figured since I didn't appear after so long I must have gotten waylaid somewhere) and we got our seats inside (fixed seating!). I still had a great view outside and I wished I had good dinner mates with whom we could have stimulating conversation. I mean good food, good wine, great view, all that’s missing is great conversation! The dinner then progressed quite ordinarily (with quite a few people around me quite curious about my vegan option) until the speeches started happening – and I must say the men were more humorous generally than the women, usually giving tongue-in-cheek and also honest recountings of difficult and challenging situations that they most remembered CE in. And CE spontaneously and gamely went up each time after each speech to give a “rejoinder” or his own response to their versions of the story, and also to give them a hug (except the women). There was a lot of laughter and jesting, even among the men at my table - some even between the boss and his staff (“Eh I always see you at these functions, I think you are quite the slacker you know? I have a little book where I write down who are slackers, and you are on top of my list!”,"Walau boss...." "Hahaha, this is a case of damned if you go, damned if you don’t!”, and “hey my civil side is all ready, can your electrical and mechanical side stop holding us up? Your holding me up you know? You… Eh eh boss come already. Cheers cheers.”) Somewhere in the midst of all this wince-inducing sparring, I realised a lot of the ragging that goes on was actually in good fun and jest and these were men who had worked together for many many years, over various infrastructural projects. Another strange dynamic in my organisation :P

Another highlight of the dinner happened when this Caucasian elderly man opposite me (Eric) started asking me how I found this organisation that I had only been working for a year in. And when I told him I was taken aback by the volume of work to handle and also because I was a rather detailed person, he smiled genially and said with a twinkle in his eye well, then you can’t do that anymore. It was the way he said it, and his demeanour. There is somehow this slowness, relaxedness and profoundness that comes with old age. Wise words to chew on in future. He also mentioned 80-20 and all that. All true.

And then I started asking him if he had been in this field all his life which led him to start talking about the various countries he had been to and his work and then about Scotland and Singapore. And as I was comparing Singapore to other countries like UK and Europe and US where people seemed less materialistic and more into beliefs and ideals, he said I had to understand that Singapore was a very young country, and had achieved a lot on a very short time, and how impressed he was that people could actually better their lives if they sent their kids through school. And that other countries had much longer histories and the people were generally richer too. So there. And I just felt this sense of tapping into a rich source when I was talking to him because (I) he didn’t seem to be in a hurry, which I have always admired in people, who could be slow and leisurely in their responses even when they were incredibly busy and (ii) he knew a lot of history (eg how it wasn’t so long ago that long haul flights weren’t possible and people travelled by boat!). And he also gave more balanced replies with a bit of a wry humourous expression when he replied me which balanced out my youthful angst and energy. I got the impression he wasn’t easily put off by my silly answers and he was also a lot more patient than me. Ah the beauty of the wisdom of old age! I wish I would be like that when I grow old!

Left Neglected

I just finished my last Lisa Genova book (sob sob) and I feel such a sense of loss! Why did she only write four books? But I’m also happy cos it was yet another good book that makes me reflect upon life, and I should be grateful that at least she didn’t stop after her first book which was awesome, but continued to write other thoughtful, deeply engaging books. Yes keep the momentum going!

Ok so this book is called Left Neglected. There are 3 key things I really love about it:

- Firstly, I love how her main character is this high-achiever, ultra competitive, multi-tasking mum. Every minute of her life to be purposeful, adrenaline-filled and stressful. She has a senior position in a consulting firm with an insane workload over different time zones, very high expectations of her job and she has to keep all the balls up in the air all the time. She’s also the mom to 3 young kids (one of whom is a baby) and married to another competitive high-achieving dad. So let’s just call her a very high – performing individual. I read about her life with a mixture of horror and fascination. I love how Lisa Genova just draws us in with her characters. Even though their lives in American towns are quite different from my life in the tropical urban jungle that is Singapore, she writes well enough to paint a really realistic picture of her life, and it’s interesting. It’s like living vicariously through another person.

- Secondly, I love how this person has an accident which causes her to lose quite a bit of her body and mental functioning, such that she cannot work anymore and has to struggle to do even the simplest of tasks. Initially she is horrified that she cannot work and cannot imagine how her company will cope without her (yes that’s me whenever I go on my maternity leave) but eventually she realises life and work goes on without her (gulp). And then she starts doing things she never had the time to do, like paint and spend time with her kids and snowboard. And after doing it a while, living a slow life for a while, she realises that 1) she isn’t recovering fully and can’t go back to her former lifestyle even if she wanted to and 2) there is an alternative lifestyle that is kinder, more sustainable for the family and kids, and though she earns a lot less, she gains a lot more time. Ok I know not everyone can find such a dream job in such a dream place (she ended up living in a ski resort up in the mountains!), and make enough to sustain a decent lifestyle, but I couldn’t help wondering – for high-performing individuals, how many even bother or have the time or courage to contemplate the alternative? It seems unthinkable that someone who could earn more would choose to earn less. And add to the problem how many such people are not even aware of the alternatives out there, taking up whatever opportunity presented itself when it was time to get a job, throw in the inertia of moving once a person is in a place where he or she is valued (similar to her) and you have a recipe for someone stuck in the rat race. There are also so few role models of people who chose the less high achiever route intentionally and the benefits they enjoyed. SO I love this book for making me even think about such a possibility.

- The last thing I like about it is her description of her mother. I think she managed to describe a mother that every daughter would love – supportive, helpful, there for you when you need her most, non-judgemental and even encouraging. That’s the kind of mom whom no child will feel a barrier to talking to, and also wanting to be close to. I aspire to be to my kids when they grow up! 😊

Herd Instinct

I recently encountered two "alpha males" in my course of work, and it was an eye-opening experience. Both of them exuded zest and alacrity in their actions (as opposed to lethargy, apathy and various states of zombification), displayed a positive and 'can do' attitude towards things, that was so refreshing amidst a growing sense of negativity and complaints of people around me, a curious mind and a breezing disregard for superficial objections by people who say it cannot be done. Both were focused, driven, and absorbed in the task they were doing, and respectful of the different talents in their team (perhaps to varying degrees). They both described the end goal in such inspiring, lofty terms, that the people around them who were still mulling over the large amount of work that had to be done (and some never rise beyond that), were left feeling slightly- yes, inspired. Of course, being alpha males, there was a certain amount of one-up-manship, varying displays of (reckless) bravado and competition, of jockeying for space, but I could not help observing how the sheer power of their drive had a cascading effect of setting the people around them into motion as well, to be more "present", more engaged, in short, more alive.

I once read a book that said the way to keep one's passion was to be with passionate people, or like-minded, kindred souls. When I read it, I did not fully understand the point and even scoffed at it. How could that be a key factor in keeping one's passion? Surely a passionate person who has a clear vision could stay perfectly driven and passionate even when he or she was surrounded by people who were otherwise? But perhaps there is some truth in it after all.

The human psyche is such that we run with the herd. You know how people say it takes a long time to break one record, but once it is done, many others go on to break it? We tend to observe the people around us, and to model after them sub-consciously, in speech, in thought, in action. Knowing this, we should probably: (i) watch our speech and conduct carefully, as there is surely a knock-on effect on others, perhaps more than we realise, and (ii) we should be mindful of the people we are with, as we may be emulating them unknowingly.

Of course not everyone has the priviledge to be with people who inspire us, or who are excellent in what they do. But if we do, this certainly goes a long way in stretching our horizons, stoking our imagination, spurring us to reach further than we would have done ourselves. If we are with people who are going in the right direction, we tend to follow suite. And vice versa. Not by our sheer individual effort, but by the mere drifting along with the crowd. It is a scary thought.

Health is so Precious

I just finished a visit to an ENT specialist to get my hearing checked out - a first for me. The reason I ended up here at the very nice amount Elizabeth Novena (not the one at Orchard which Google Maps misled me to going to, thank God I was early by half an hour for once and had time to catch the shuttle bus to the Novena branch! This is not the first time I’ve been played out by these so-called wayfinding apps) is because after attending a particularly noisy D&D (in part the Emcee was very boisterous, in part the Organising committee just amped up the volume way too loud at the end, trying to turn it into some disco), I suffered a blocked feeling in my left ear 2 days after the event, making me feel like my left ear was stuffed with cotton wool (which I ended up doing but more on that later), which gradually turned into a low buzzing sound that got louder and louder, becoming especially irritating when I was in quiet rooms, such that I started feeling agitated by the sound. It was literally driving me slightly crazy. As I was complaining after dinner last night and my dad suggested that I stuff cotton wool into my left ear to stop the buzzing. Strangely, it worked, so I spent the rest of the night walking around the house, playing with the kids with this white ball of fluff sticking out of my left ear. I recall my baby girl looking at it very strangely. And then various well-meaning people whom I complained to urged me to get it checked out right away, warning me ominously that any delay could result in many unpleasant outcomes ranging from permanent hearing loss in BOTH ears, to having throat cancer (I jokingly told my colleague who told me that, that I would then finally have some real proof to show the admin guys who are dragging their feet in replacing our office furniture, that the formaldehyde situation in the office was really a health hazard).

My experience getting there was quite interesting in itself. Besides trusting the innocent-looking google maps instructions, I bought an iced coffee at a vending machine near where I was waiting for the shuttle service, and was looking for place to discard my coffee can by the time I reached Mount E (Novena). However after walking for a bit, I concluded a private hospital was unlikely to have recycling bins, and dumped it with great regret into a dustbin. Then as I turned the corner to take the lift, I saw a nice shiny row of recycling bins!! I felt this huge jolt of dismay course through my veins and could not help muttering to myself under my breath "Oh you of little faith!". That was when I found myself thinking how wonderful it would be if we could have some personal assistant app that could advise us where the nearest recycling bins were ("only ten steps away!") and give us prompts if we typed in a location that has several branches ("Which Mount Elizebeth Hospital?"), and gives us accurate walk times ("With all the overhead bridges and traffic lights, and giving yourself some time to get lost, your walk time would be 30 minutes").

So, back to my ENT appointment. After a hearing test and some checks (I have never seen the inside of my ear in such detail before. Got to get my right ear cleaned out), she pronounced my hearing ok, but said that my blocked nose was probably causing my Eustachian tubes to be collapsed, lowering my middle ear pressure, and could be causing the buzzing sound and depressed hearing. It was all rather technical but I was expecting that, as it is the ear we are talking about. Of all the senses to have trouble with, my dad had told me early on in my life that hearing loss is IRREVERSIBLE, giving me a deathly fear of all problems ear-related and a healthy respect for this miraculous organ that God created. With all of medical advances, mankind still has not found a way to reconstruct or repair the eardrum once it is damaged. Hearing aids also look quite hideous and need battery power (although websites say they are now improved, but the designs I saw still looked pretty large and like they would stick out of our ears). What I took away from this (aside from a receipt for paying $250 in fees) was that I was so glad my hearing is ok and I get to keep my perfectly fine sense of hearing (thank you, ears, I've never paid much attention to you but you're doing a good job!) for another few decades (hopefully) cos it would really suck to have no hearing in one ear or both and have to wear hearing aids.

Oh, and on my way there, I saw a child alighting from the shuttle bus accompanied by her mom and dad. She was bald, wearing a bandana, and though she was tall, she was really really scrawny. From the back I could see her shoulder blades very prominently, sending shudders down my spine. She was probably a cancer patient, going through chemo. I felt a huge pang of sadness when I saw her, and thought back to my kids and how skinny they are, but it's skinniness born out of genes and not sickness. And I was reminded of how precious being in good health is, both for ourselevs and our loved ones. Like my pastor said, every morning when we can wake up, breathe air in our lungs, move around without problems, do meaningful work, and sit down to enjoy a good meal, we should get down on our knees and thank God for such lavish, abundant blessings. May we all remember this often.

Career Bucket List

Today I read an article in the papers that talked about how we could have a job, a career or a calling. The differences were quite interesting: if it's just a job, people tend to be clock-watchers, and come to work just to put intone mandatory 8 hours (or less if they can get away with it) so that they can really start living after work. If it's a career, people tend to be very driven, motivated and achieve great outcomes, but they are motivated by money, prestige, status. If it's a calling, the content of the work matters and they are driven by intrinsic factors such as wanting to serve others or improve something. They often also get the money, status and promotions as a result of their performance although they were not looking for it. The interesting thing for me is that on the surface, both people working in their careers and calling may appear equally driven, but their driving factor are so different! I Guess when the going gets tough, or when the prospects of promotion or work-to-reward ratio are not up to mark, then we may see differences in response in the two types of people.

To help people find their career or calling, the writer suggested that we write down our career bucket list - meaning what things do we want to have achieved before we die, if there were no limitations? Or to help spur the imagination, what would we want to be featured in the papers for in the future? I was quite intrigued by it and so here is my attempt at crafting one:

- Publishing a book that is enjoyed by thousands
- To have touched people whom I worked with by inspiring them towards excellence and God
- To really improve the way things are done, address inefficiencies and maximize impact, and delight people as they go about their daily lives in many ways
- I have always wanted to experience life as a waitress
- I really enjoyed coding once, perhaps to actually code something or develop a machine that works!
- To preach a series of sermons on things close to my heart

More Interesting Stuff about my Kids

So, last weekend, my parents-in-law asked us not to go to their place as there was a lot of renovation going on outside their house. This meant aside from their usual art and abacus enrichment classes, and our church commitments (the stables of our weekend), we spent much of the weekend catching Pokemons (yes, tell my kids the craze is over please). To make things worse (or better, depending on how you see it), my hubby downloaded something called a Pokemap, which shows where the uncaught Pokemons are in Singapore with great accuracy, combined with a countdown timer to show you how long you have to hotleg it over there before it disappears. This got my eldest very excited as he could finally see where he could catch his beloved Starmie.

I won’t tell you what new Pokemons we managed to catch with the help of this app (Pikachu, Rapidash, Ivysaur, Clefairy, and we evolved a Nidorina too), but I do want to write about what new things I learnt about my kids in watching them play the game.

My eldest boy:

•At one point he went out for breakfast with my hubby and his brother, and he kept asking the father to use the lures but he wouldn’t. Eventually Starmie appeared but just as they were about to catch it, my hubby’s hp ran out of batt. That was when my eldest lost it and started yelling at his father, insisting that he should have used a lure earlier. In a bid to placate him, the father replied with equanimity “Patience. Good things come to those who wait”. To which the reply came “No! Good things come to those who use lures!” The father found it so funny he told me about it after they came back. Quotable quote.

My second boy:

•At some point soon after he took possession of my handphone, the plaintive requests started on whether he can change my buddy, the colour of the team I’m on etc etc while his brother was compulsively looking at the sightings and scrolling through all the Pokemons he already caught (to see what sounds they made and actions they made). As usual, appearances matter to this neat little boy.

•After church, we were hanging around a playground just outside the church as the kids wolved down the biscuits their teachers gave them at the end of each Sunday school, when a father carrying a little girl asked my husband “is this Hao Yi?” pointing to my eldest. “No, that’s Hao En. This is Hao Yi.” And the girl's father looked and said “hello” and explained that his girl Megan kept telling him that her friend Hao Yi taught her to do some stuff in class so he wanted to see who it was. We were suitably amused and teased Hao Yi a little after that. He didn’t seem to remember Megan or acknowledge it. My maid then joked with us how Hao Yi’s good friends were always girls and Hao En’s good friends tended to be boys, in fact the naughty ones. Haha.

Both of them:

•Sunday dinner, we were sitting across from them as the father was recounting what Hao Yi was sleep talking at night, Hao En stopped harrassing us for our handphones for a moment and burst into a wide, face-splitting grin and peals of delighted laughter, and Hao Yi also laughed along. It was so nice to see them laugh as kids and not obsessed over handphones I tried to capture the moment but was too late.

•Sunday night, my husband was trying to make them sleep, but they would lie quietly in the darkness on the mattress and then inevitably the talking would start up again. Exasperated, he said “Stop talking! Whoever still talks will sleep outside. One…” And then he farted “poooo” and then silence. And the kids started giggling… And then he said “three” and that was when they lost it and started chuckling, repeating “one, poo, three” and then losing themselves in laughter again . The sound of their laughter is priceless, the utterly amused "hehehehe" laughter of Hao En, followed by the unmistakable peals of gurgling laughter by Hao Yi. Pure delight.

As for Jeanine, she likes to open and close things with caps now and mimic whatever we say. When I laugh at her sometimes she will lean back and give me a half smile. Or a sly smile, like she is up to no good but doesn’t want me to know it.

Picking up Handphones

I was shopping for a secondhand, no-frills, no-camera handphone today to replace my brand new, blue and shiny one, because I wanted a handphone (1) with keys that did not give me a thumb spasm every time I typed a semi-long sms, (2) that did not consume so much energy that it needs charging every day, (3) had a nicer ring tone instead of the generic single beep.

As I was strolling around, carrying several bags of new year goodies for my mom, my handphone suddenly rang. After I fumbled for it in my bag for a few frantic moments, wondering if it would go out on me, I managed to extract it and it was my pastor. He wanted to ask if I was free this Sunday for dinner with the other members of my ministry. Nice. I thought it would be my mom with some instructions about something or other.

Anyway, after I hung up, I was pleased I had picked up the handphone, and I was musing about how some people do not like to pick up their handphones because (1) they think it is someone who has something unpleasant to say, (2) of the radiation that goes through the head every time the person talks on a handphone, (3) what can be so important to call rather than to sms (which is less radiation to read)? And yet, if a person is hard to get by handphone, he or she might miss out on all the pleasant surprises in life like this, or on some really, really important message.

So I thought perhaps a good story to write would be about a super team, or some team of people on a mission or task, and how one member in the team always picks up his/her handphone (probably the more reliable and organised one) and so is easily contactable, whereas the other person (usually the more quirky one, but more fun) does not like to pick up her handphone and hence is often lost in the action or doing her own thing. Which may not be a bad thing. I mean, hey, look at the hobbits in Lord of the Rings.

Ok, I got this idea down. Signing out.

First Things First

Wa, this must be the most difficult habit to put into practice.  This is the habit about drawing up weekly calendars which I found hard to sustain.  The idea is that we should set goals both long-term and short-term for the many roles in our lives, and every week, we should set weekly goals (a lot of goal-setting!) and schedule our activities for the week.  This way we organise our week around our priorities, and we can say no to other things.

Being Yourself vs Learning from Others

I mentioned in my previous post that I’m reading a book by Ellen DeGeneres called Seriously… I’m Kidding. I’ve finished that book and one of the chapters that left a deep impression was one on not comparing ourselves against others. I get that. It’s often toxic and not at all productive or realistic to keep comparing ourselves to others around us as we will inevitably find something others are better than us in. And then it matters what is our response. Do we beat ourselves up over it? Ah he or she is so xxyy. I’ll never be as xxyy as that person. Or do we try unconsciously to model ourselves more like that person?

Well Ellen says it best. I’ll quote her “I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush” and “It would be so boring to look out into the world and see hundreds of people who look and think exactly like me” and “who’s to say what’s better or worse anyway? Who’s to even say what’s normal or average? We’re all different people and we’re allowed to be different from one another”. I find what she says refreshing (although within limits of course, there are average weights, and weights that are probably not healthy for a human being. And some traits in people like sociopathic tendencies are probably safely classified as undesirable). But really, when we find ourselves feeling l Low about ourselves cos we just found ourselves lacking in a certain trait someone else has in buckets, I find this is a good reminder. And I’m also reminded of what my coach (yes I’m on some leadership course that gives me access to 4 sessions with a personal coach!) said once when I lamented that I lacked a particular trait which I found absolutely essential in Directors, and hence concluded I wasn’t ready to be one. He said, not in your organisation, but he felt there were other organisations where my personality trait would be much valued, and the trait I coveted so much, would be looked upon badly by the company and by teams.
Strange. But I guess I’ll take his word for it.

Another thing someone else told me during this leadership course I was on, is that sometimes we can try really hard to be like another person, but fail in the end cos we are just not wired like that person, and we can’t do a personality transplant. But we can learn some of what that person does well and incorporate it into our style and come up with our own unique style. I can identify with that – I really admired my Assistant Director when I was a junior Policy Executive. She was this lady who was decisive, big picture, gave clear timely instructions but never micro-managed, and gave credit when it was due. She was energetic and spunky and gutsy. She was also empathetic and nurturing when needed. Ah the best of a male and a female in a boss! So when she rotated out of my ministry, I aspired to be like her. I tried to fill her shoes, espccially when I became an AD later. However try as I might, I could not emulate her 100%, to my disappointment, but I like to think I managed to move myself along the spectrum of being more like her in certain aspects, but still being very me. There was also the story of the animals who were put into races that tested them on skills they were bad at, eg the Ducks were put in a race, rabbits asked to swim, birds asked to climb trees, and how when they were put in the tight races they fared so much better. While I believe we all have different inherent strengths and latent capabilities, and we are happiest when we can develop and exercise them, we can also develop things we currently don’t have if we apply ourselves, with effort and the right method/teacher.

So, another thought I had was – being happy in our uniqueness shouldn’t stop us from constantly learning and growing. And one way to do that is by learning from people who do it better than us. So it’s puzzling. But I think I can reconcile it like this – we should learn from others, but we should also be assured of our uniqueness and be well aware of our strengths, and always do things with the aim of being a better me, so I can contribute and function better in my role, rather than because I want to be better than them.

Still Alice Review

I recently re-read Still Alice, after having read Still Alice, inside the O’Briens and Love, Anthony. I guess I just really love Lisa Genova. But I realised I can’t read her books one after another, as they are too heavy, or rather, they leave me feeling too heavy-hearted and pensive. So I Guess that’s why I’m reading a book written by Ellen DeGeneres now, called Seriously… I’m Kidding. Haha. Before that I interspersed her books with a Jack Reacher novel.
However, I have been raving to anyone whom I have more than a 5-minute conversation with, about what a wonderful author Lisa Genova is, and the themes her books explore. After they find out what she writes about, I am often replied with a grimace and an eeugh (that’s my Husband), or if people don’t know me well enough, a polite “oh, I usually don’t like sad stories”. Recently, when I insisted on telling my hubby the storyline of Love, Anthony, he balked and complained “No! No more of those sad stories! I hate hearing about them and i don’t understand why you like reading them!”.

I’m a little puzzled not everyone shares my love of realistic portrayals of everyday life that are immensely thought-provoking. Ok, so it’s not everyday life, as the characters always have some life-threatening or life-altering disease or condition, but they give me such deep, realistic glimpses into people and families who have to deal with such things, which I can relate to as I may have to deal with some form of that in the future either in myself or in my loved ones, that I find it a treasure trove of knowledge and is the best kind of fiction – that shines a mirror on your lives, on our inner lives, our thoughts, that throws us into scenarios both probable and improbable and makes us think what might be our reactions to it (another movie that causes such reflections between me and my husband is Train to Busan, but more of that in another post). And even more importantly, I love it that what she deals with is our mortality. What happens when our days are numbered, when the basic functioning a of life we take for granted are suddenly in decline, how do we cope, how should we cope, what is left? It is like a fictional story of characters having to live with the End in Mind, Steven Covey’s second habit, one which I love, except Lisa Genova explores this with a whole cast of characters, with different personalities, different levels of religiosity (however none of her lead characters were truly religious), types of spouses, kids, careers etc. So, as I said, a treasure trove of information, lives lived before, though they are fiction.

So, what struck me a lot this second time round, reading Still Alice, is the response of her husband John. I found myself seeing him in a kinder light at times, noticing how he is really trying to help her by running with her daily though he hates running, and attending lots of conferences on Alzheimer’s and trying to help her find a cure. However I think he never accepted or came to terms with the fact that his wife had Alzheimer’s and she would eventually lose her mind through a decline. He could not stomach seeing her eat medicines, could not face seeing her struggle with simple things. In the end, he chose to move to New York to take up a Chairman role which was a big coup for his career, even though it meant being far from Alice (I take it that she stayed in Boston with her daughters and son), and one really has to wonder, was that the right choice? If it were me, what would I do?

The book explores questions indirectly like is it worth spending your life and effort taking care of someone who may be more and more incapable of knowing you, and appreciating your efforts. Raise the stakes higher, would you sacrifice a part of your career to do that? The conclusion of the book suggests that yes, it is worth it, because you love the person, and even when someone seems to have deteriorated a lot, there are moments when they recognise you, are clear-headed, and they definitely continue to have feelings and can think at some level. However all that aside, what if that person is in a coma?

Ok, heavy questions (I’m feeling a bit breathless here contemplating all these big questions) and I can only offer a story as an answer. From my own experience.

My grandma had a stroke when I was very young, and she was taken care of by my uncle and his wife for very Long. She was mostly taken care of by his wife, as my uncle was working a lot, and perhaps partly as my grandma was not her mother but my uncle’s, my aunt eventually lost her mind a little from all the work of taking care of an invalid, and my grandma was moved to a home for the elderly. However when my mum saw more and more bruises on my grandma, she couldn’t bear it and took my grandma into our home. My grandma lived more ten years in our home before she passed on, and in that period of time, my parents simply hired a maid and juggled all the duties of working, taking care of me and my grandma as best as they could. They ensured she ate well, was taken care of and spoke to her occasionally (very loudly so she could hear). At one time, she even smeared her faeces all over the wall and my dad had to clean it up. All through it, my parents never complained. I think the answer for me would probably also be pretty straightforward. Family is family. And we have to take care of our family. And like this little placard that hangs on the wall just before we leave the house, “Hope makes things bright, faith makes things possible, love makes things easy.”

Inspiring Creativity in Kids

Being a mother of a two boisterous toddlers, aged 5 and 4, I am a frequent visitor of Toys R Us at Tampines Mall. In fact whenever we eat in that mall it has become their routine to ask to go there right after food. In fact, now if they don’t suggest it, we will, simply to get them to stop staring at our hp screens at some YouTube video or compulsively scrolling through our Pokedex (yep, actually that is their craze now).

After our food, we would sit for a while to let our food digest (all of 2 seconds) before gathering our things and lumbering up to Toys R Us to locate them. They would inevitably be in the same old aisle, depending on what is their obsession at the moment. Once it was Thomas the Train and all the many train characters (Percy, James, Toby, Diesel, Flynn etc) or the more expensive train sets, then it was Star Wars and now it is Pokemon. I find it weird that the toy stores here haven’t caught on to selling Pokemon paraphernalia yet. Perhaps they all predict it is just a fad that will disappear, or the shops had no reaction time as to how hot it will become, or the company didn’t realise this was a lucrative marketing strategy. Anyway I just know that if they started selling Squirtle water bottles, Staryu bags or Eevee cushions, my boys (and me) would be clamouring for them and snapping them up for sure.

So after buying them enough train sets and Star Wars X-wings, Tie-fighters and lego sets to start a small museum, I found myself wandering through other parts of the shop in the hopes of finding other meaningful and fun toys that might engage my boys, with rather limited success. Sometimes I also walk around Kiddy Palace and some other toy shops, to check out their toys collection. It struck me after a while that most of the toys in these toy shops are the same and they all tend to be the convergent toys, meaning there is only one or a few ways to play with them. For example, train sets have only one way of playing with them, many dollhouses (eg Hello Kitty house, Peppa Pig house) have limited ways you can move around the furniture and place the characters, cooking sets where the fruits and vegetables can only be cut in half, and even Lego sets all come with precise instructions now on how to assemble the pieces to get the toy on the cover. There are still the age-old toys like colouring sets, beads, playdoh and toy guns and figurines fashioned after some character (eg superhero, Barbie, some collectible), which you can play with however many ways depending on your imagination, and my kids do like colouring, but aside from that, if your kids are not into those toys, that leaves very little to buy. I tried hunting for divergent, creativity enhancing toys, things which have many many different ways of playing with, but only came up with tangram (such a dull set of pieces, all in one colour and they are quite small and flat which makes it hard to manipulate and they don’t stay put), other forms of blocks, and other educational games which either teach you to spell or to count.

To be fair, you could get the rarer, less common toys if you go to a more inaccessible mall like Tanglin mall or Parkway Parade. I happen to know there are toy shops there that carry more variety of toys, although I must say many still fall under the category of convergent toys. They are nicer-looking convergent toys, but nothing really inspired or jumped out at me there too.

I recently found myself fantasising of the toys I would make if I could. They include:
•Lego bricks that actually have detail on them, eg blocks that suit Roman architecture style, Greek architecture, English cottage style, European castles etc. I used to have a set of building blocks with such pictures on the side but I lost them and can’t find anything like that anymore.

•Dollhouses where the furniture is not one piece but made up of different pieces and styles that you can mix and match, eg the types of legs on the chair or table, the type of cushions and sofa covers you use, different types of lamps, and get this – the characters should have fully movable body parts – waist, arms, legs, head, so you can make them adopt an infinite variety of poses. They can be standing over a stove and cooking, or kicking back and relaxing on a sofa with a tub of ice cream in hand haha, or working on a laptop or sweeping the floor. Wouldn’t that be great? Then you can really do role play and inspire future interior designers🙂

So, I decided last night (when my hubby is overseas again and it is up to me to entertain the kids) to come up with my own humble creativity toy. I borrowed the idea from a girl’s colouring book I saw in Urban Write (the Popular offshoot) where it showed girls in various types of outfits, and hairstyles, but the fun part was how they cut every character in half and you can flip the pages to mix and match tops and bottoms to get new outfit. Some work really well, and some just don’t. I know I spent an inordinate amount of time flipping through all the pages because I was so fascinated. So I did a boys version (no they do not have such a thing, sadly), using Pokemon, their craze of the day, to boot. I was quite pleased with the result, I must say.

So it looks like this.

As part of creativity is mixing two things that are different together and coming up with a new thing, I drew a few of their favourite Pokemon characters on a spiral notebook (the third one is Blastoise, by the way), cut them up into three sections – head, body and legs, but ensuring they are still attached to the spine, and then I showed them how you can flip the pages and have different combinations of Pokemkn characters – eg a Squirtle with Staryu legs, which I called Squiryu. Or a Staryu with a Squirtle body, which I called Startle, haha.

The trick is to make sure the body parts all end at the same points at the page edges so the final character looks seamless. Initially the boys were upset that I cut up their beloved characters, but later I found Hao Yi, my younger boy, flipping through the pages on his own and hopefully, enjoying the different combinations. As you can see, my next step is getting them to Colour them which they are in the midst of doing.

However I do want to add that actually one of the best ways to foster creativity in kids is actually, not to give them any screens, and leave them to their own devices. You may find that they go through an initial frustration mode, and complain that they are booooored, and start rifling through the house for that remote or handphone, but if you stick it out (and you must have faith to do so!), they should eventually be forced to entertain themselves by coming up with something. Heck, impoverished kids who are not exposed to any toys can even make a game out of breadcrumbs, and I used to talk to myself when I was utterly bored, so don’t underestimate the power of forced downtime and open imagination. Of course, telling them stories, reading books (fiction and non-fiction) and talking to them about things around them help to give their minds more fodder to chew on, but stretches of time with nothing to do – it’s an invitation for the mind to come up with new things.

Hope it gave you some ideas for things to do with kids!

We are Living in a Material World…

Yesterday I saw a funny wall poster in a mall that said “The biggest regrets in life are the things I didn’t buy”. Funny. Well, I recently learnt a precious lesson on how we ought to relate to material things in life and just want to jot it down before I forget it.

It was my usual Sunday facilitators session and we were preparing notes on Philippians. W, who is finishing up his theology degree and the most diligent of us in preparing notes for each study (I am less regular) was sharing with us that according to a certain Christian teacher, the bible teaches us that helping the poor is not a matter of charity (i.e. voluntary) but justice (i.e. essential). The shoe in our cupboard we have not worn for eons and the food we throw away uneaten are all what we owe the poor. He went on to elaborate why this was so (e.g. often, the poor are that way because of the circumstances they were born in or found themselves in, and not through any lack in personal traits) and assured us that the teacher provided lots of bible verses as reference, which we could check out if we watched the video.

To me, this was the missing piece of the puzzle in my mind on how we should treat material possessions and wealth. Living in Singapore, a country that is as pragmatic and unabashed as they come in its goal to seek and maximise material prosperity (I think even China is more ideological than us), I have been convinced since my JC days that life must be about more than just pursuing material riches. I mentally checked out of this rat race a long time ago and had no trouble accepting the Christian teaching on the deceitfulness of wealth and not pursuing mammon as our God. However I could not find any teachings about not being incidentally wealthy as there are characters in the Bible who were so (eg Job, King Solomon, Abraham) although in my mind I just couldn’t gel a godly person who would at the same time live in a luxury condo (what are you trying to prove? Do you NEED to stay in one? Why not give the money to the poor or a good cause?) or driving a luxury car (same questions). However thus far it seemed like a matter of personal preference, something to be settled between them and God, with no absolute benchmark, and hence I have kept my mouth shut amidst conversations around me of upgrading, going on expensive holidays one after another, and what not. At the same time, I secretly admired the saints throw themselves wholeheartedly into a good cause or who invite the poor into their lives and share everything with them.

So here was a teaching that tells us anytime we have abundance we ought not to gather more but to share. Ok, I Guess different people may have different barometers on what constitutes abundance but it is still a starting point. For me, this settles a Long-Nagging problem of mine and now I am calmly settled in my mind as to how I should treat riches and material things. Have and keep what is necessary, and give away the rest. What liberating teaching!!!

The next step is figuring how this gels with my life with my husband, who umm… doesn’t quite see things the same way I do. Granted I haven’t quite shared this with him yet. I probably should although I wonder if it would make much difference. He drives a luxury car (cos he has to meet investor clients for work) and aspires to live in a condo. So much so that we bought a very expensive penthouse which will be ready by end of the year. Can’t quite back out now. The good thing is he is very open to discussing things with me, but he may not agree with me at the end of the day and I can only advise, not control him. If he insists on doing certain things in ways, we will just have to agree to disagree and to prevent civil strife, I’ll go along with his decision. Which means I’ll be one of those Christians living in a penthouse and owning a luxury car 😟. One of life’s ironies. The silver lining I can see in this is that we will be spending so much of our monthly income on house and car that it will result in us having much less money to spend and hence conversely, we may end up becoming even more generous to the poor, as we will have less in our bank account. Sometimes the more we have, the harder it is to let go. So I can still practice what the Christian teacher said about living simply and giving away unused things but just that we will have much less to give away compared to if we were living in a HDB flat or condo that is less expensive.

So ultimately, it is between us and God. We have to give a reckoning and an answer to God in every decision we made including on stewardship of resources so we just have to be able to live with ourselves.

Run. Hide. Seek.

I recently finished a trilogy YA dystopian series set in Singapore (what more could I ask for) called Run Hide Seek. And to cap it all off, it's written by a 14 year-old Singaporean girl!!! I was strangely excited and floored and inspired when I found that out. I remember laughing out loud to myself on the train when I read this on my phone and whooping and shaking my head at the same time :) If she can do it, what more us adults? We really have no excuse now.

She is called Gabby Tye and her story on how she wrote this book is quite inspiring. She got this book together when her Mom made her to write 300 words a day instead of watching all this "online nonsense" and before she knew it, she had enough to make a book! Ok so her Mom is a publisher/editor, and is hence in the business, so you could argue unfair advantage, privileged background, but still - it's pretty something huh? She actually made something out of it, when many other privileged kids probably don't. Having written many stories since my childhood days and not having finished many long ones, I can tell you what she did takes a lot of perseverance, and her imagination was quite brilliant too.

Though the thick pages and more widely-spaced words take getting some used to, her story sucks you in right away as its always fast-paced, and written like an action movie. When I read it, the similarities with some other popular books/movies immediately struck me, but they are not complete rip-offs, more like a blend of Hunger Games meets World War Z meets Maze Runner meets Divergent. Yes, ALL my favourite movies/books. What’s not to like?!!🙂. When I was in a scriptwriting course this was an exercise my teacher taught us to generate fun, creative plot lines and ideas when we are dry – randomly pick two movie titles from a bag and try to come up with a logline blending them together. Eg I may pick Jurassic Park and Matrix. So a logline may be – the story of how a person is the chosen one to go back in time and save the dinosaurs, but he wakes up and it’s all a dream or an alternate reality. Ok I’m totally making that up but I’m sure that was how movies like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (which my husband assures me actually works as a movie) were born.

Anyway back to the series. I’m quite fascinated by how she managed to weave in elements and plot points from all these stories, threw in some ideas of her own, and make a refreshing, whole new compelling kick-ass story out of it. Well done, girl *enthusiastic clapping* !!! Isn’t this what Korean dramas are doing? Pushing the boundaries of what is a genre and mixing genres (eg supernatural romance mystery thriller) to get a whole new product. And she ALSO landed a China book publishing deal where her books will be translated and sold in China, and go on to inspire a lot more young writers to be sure.
I am personally motivated from this to get my butt into gear (despite being a working Mom with 3 kids and church responsibilities) and to just do what she did – make myself write a certain number of words a day. Anyway all the writing books tell me to. They say the key to being a successful writer is discipline and habit, to write write write. And the stories will come. In a way, this blog helps me do that.

Ok what I liked about her book:

– how the heroine has something special about her (although I did think her personality could have been made more distinctive, where she could be sullen and protective like Katniss, or heck-care like Mary in a Christopher Pike book, or geeky and underdog like many other heroes in his book too)

– how there is a love triangle (ah, reminded me of how crushes feel!)

– her relationship with her Mom (I think she tried to be politically correct in her book, as her Mom is editor and she’d only 14!)

– the state of the future world and why it happened (themes of bad farming, environmental destruction, genetic manipulation, resonates with what I think is wrong in this world today and is what is refreshing about her book, that she brings in these themes in a layman and understandable, non-intimidating and non-yawn inducing way)

– how the action never stops, reminding me of Christopher Pike and Suzanne Collins’ writing.
That is what I am weak in – writing action. I may like reading action-packed books and have watched endless action movies, but ask me to write an action sequence and my brain just shuts down,. And if I’m forced to, like in my scriptwriting class, the writing comes out clunky and amateurish, and frankly, painful to read. I’m surprised my scriptwriting teacher (who came from Hollywood by the way – thank you Media Academy!) didn’t even comment on it. He wrote a lot of other comments though. Maybe he was laughing so hard he decided to spare me the pain. But hey, got to have the growth mindset right? With hard work and grit and laser-like focus, and the right training/teacher, I should be able to master it. If I ever need to, that is.
So, to the mattresses! Which means, let’s get cracking!

One art homework - two different personalities

Hello all!

It's been a loong time since my last post and here's why - I recently got seconded to another statutory board and it has been crazy learning the new content and interpersonal dynamics of new teams, getting used to my new bosses, and also juggling being a Mom of 3 kids and being a Loving Wife. Maybe more on that in another post :P

I wanted to talk about this homework assignment that my two boys, 5 and 4, recently got from their preschool. It caught my attention as their preschool never assigns homework (as it should be) and this time they wanted e boys to each do a 2D or 3D image of a sea creature, in line with the theme "sea creatures".

My older son, who doesn't like art much, distractedly told me he wanted to draw a crab when I asked him multiple times what sea creature he wanted to draw (he can be quite decisive). Then when I gave him a blank sheet of paper and paint, he immediately started covering it with dark blue. Then before it quite dried, he selected orange and yellow, and drew a rough oval, two beady eyes that were too big, and then four legs on each side with quick short brush strokes. Then he ran off. I had actually collected a small collection of sea shells from an earlier time when we were at Pasir Ris beach (that place has lots of sea shells unlike East Coast) and I asked my maid to get it out. I also went around my HDB estate scouting for some soil. Turns out someone had discarded a large potted plant in the community garden near my house, and I got a bucket and scooped in a fair amount of reddish-brown clayey soil. From their art class, I got the idea to mix the soil with glue, and then I smeared it along the bottom of the painting, to simulate the sea bed. Then I wanted to glue each shell on. However, it was already very late when I smeared the soil so I told my boy let's paste the shells tomorrow morning. But he insisted on doing it before bed and you know what he did? He just took each shell and pressed it into the soil mixture, and it somehow stuck! And he went on pressing them randomly until he finished pasting everything, and then he ran off. I looked at the finished art piece and chuckled to myself. It somehow portrayed the image of a crab scuttling very quickly to the side, and it was so reminiscent of how my own boy is like in real life, always moving, running, never resting (unless you give him some kind of screen).

My younger boy is a different matter - he wanted to paint a jellyfish, and when I gave him his paper, he kept painting over and over the same spot until the paper broke through with all the watery paint. And we had to do it over and over again. In the end, it was his first jellyfish (which he did without putting much effort in) that looked semi-presentable and which I brought to their school. The strange thing is, the older son's art looked better than the younger one's.

It shows their different personalities - the older one likes things fast, speed, and he doesn't waste time on things he doesn't like very much. The younger one is very painstaking in his art which reflects his perfectionist personality.

How interesting what an art exercise can reveal.