A Few Lessons From God

Hello hello,

I guess sometimes insomnia is a good friend of bloggers!  I have been lamenting to myself and my friends about the lack of time to write this year, and since I find myself wide awake for no particular reason at 2am tonight, and happened to be online as I was shutting down my computer, I decided why not write about some things I believe God is teaching me these few weeks.

I guess many times, God speaks to me through repetition, or coincidence, or "divine resonance" of events, which is a cheem way of saying, how unrelated things over a period of time (maybe a month) seem to have the same theme or touch on the same topic.  This is the case these past few weeks.

Let's see.  It started with Sister Cynthia who visited my cell group as a guest speaker, to share about how she saw her role in the body of Christ.  She was a soft-spoken, genteel lady but when she spoke on this topic, you could sense the fire in her soft, velvet-like voice.  She spoke about how she felt, through verses that jumped out at her when she read the Bible, inner passions that never go away and through the inner witness of the Holy Spirit, that she was to be a sort of "watchman" for this generation, to awaken more people of God to know their calling in God, or the role God wants them to play in His kingdom, and to fulfil it, and to raise up more workers for God in the harvest field.  I wondered of course, what was my role in the kingdom of God, and was reminded once again of how I felt convicted to write my thoughts, reflections and learning points when I was penning down my reflections busily and happily in Starbucks in Dec 2013 (hmm...).  I can certainly identify with the "inner passions that never go away" part.  I have always wondered if God wants me to be a writer.  He hasn't made that crystal clear to me yet, or given me a confirmation I cannot second-guess .  But I recall what my ex-pastor and spiritual mentor said that even if I write it for me, to clarify my own thoughts on an issue, that would be valuable in itself.  So I am heeding his advice, and starting small and humbly.  Publishing a bestseller and achieving worldwide fame and glory can be something God decides to bestow on me later, or not!  Haha!

So, the second thing that happened was when my husband shared about his conversation with a missionary friend.  This guy told my husband about an intriguing concept - that there are three levels of giving we can achieve:

(i) Basic tithing - Where we give 10% to God, as mentioned in the Bible, or as another friend put it, we give 100% to God (since it all belongs to Him anyway) and He graciously gives us 90% to spend

(ii) We give beyond 10%, according to the faith He has given us, and we receive blessings manifold, sometimes even a hundredfold.  He told us the parable of the soil, about when you sow on good soil, you can reap a harvest that is thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what you sowed

(iii) We reach a state whereby the giving and receiving are happening simultaneously and seamlessly and endlessly, where we are giving to God as fast as we can but He is giving back even faster - proving the point that you cannot outgive God.  I smiled when I heard that - what a blessed state to be in!

I was challenged when I heard that about my personal life - the missionary said that this applies not just to money, but also our time, our energy, our talents.  How little of everything do I give to God!  And the missionary also said that there is a principle of the firstfruits - basically when you give the first and best portion of anything you have, you sanctify the rest of it.  So for example, if you give God your first paycheck, you sanctify the rest of your paychecks, or God will protect and bless it.  If you give God the first and best part of the day, you sanctify the rest of it.  And so on.  The example was how when Moses sacrificed Isaac, he sanctified the rest of the Jews.  When God sacrificed His firstborn Son, He sanctified the rest of mankind who believe in Jesus.  It is an interesting principle, and one which I cannot wait to test out!  This is also in line with what I know of God's character - that He is looking at our heart - are we fully surrendered to Him, are we willing to give Him everything.  And as a proxy of "everything", cos God isn't a sadist, He just knows what will give us maximum fulfillment in life, and that is not getting too attached to His gifts but He Himself, giving Him the first and best part of what we have is a good indication, or proof of our surrenderedness.  We could go a step further and give Him more than the first part, and I guess that is where the second and third states of giving kick in - you just simply cannot outgive God.  What a wonderful testimony such a life would be!  I must say it seems unwise to make this a formula to get rich, the intent seems to go against the fundamental objective of God, which is to wean us away from "the deceitfulness of wealth", but I do believe God can use and honour whatever baby steps we can take, simply because He knows we are dust and so fallible.

The last one was when I simply ran out of fiction books to read (I hadn't had time to browse for new books for myself from the library, and my library card is maxed out with books for my children), and so I went to my bookshelf and picked out this book called "Been There Done That", which is an exciting book about a local guy who became an OM missionary and travelled the world.  Several things stood out from the book:

At one point, he talked about how he was very shaken by two deaths he witnessed on the road as a missionary.  Being a young Christian, he was troubled about where he would go if he died that night, and God showed him Galations 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me".  The verse struck him like a tornado and he realised that his life was no longer his.  It belonged and still belongs to Jesus.  This resonated deep within me and struck me hard as well, I suppose because of its totality, its uncompromising nature.  It talks about the ownership of our life.  Who is the real owner of us?  Who calls the shots?  Who determines what we do with our time, our money, ourselves?  The world will say, well, it's us of course!  In fact, the whole self-help thing is about the self.  Advertising is all about pampering the self.  But here, God is saying, after believing in God, we no longer own ourselves.  We are His.  We are, in a way, dead to the world, as we are crucified with Christ.  These are deep concepts, which I shall need to mull over to fully digest what it means.  Clearly I am not dead.  I still feel hunger, thirst, needs, wants.  I still procrastinate and want to take the easy way out (e.g. entertain myself rather than write!).  And I do not think God expects us not to take care of ourselves or enjoy ourselves.  He is not a killjoy.  In fact, God is probably the best party-goer in the world, and the one who most fully enjoys life.  He knows how to have a good time.  The Bible says He holds "eternal pleasures" in His right hand.  But somehow, that is entwined with giving up.  It is a paradox and a mystery.  Perhaps it can only be experienced, not reasoned.