Today I went for CE’s farewell dinner at this really nice place called Aura Sky Lounge. I realised after I got there that this was the place 2 of my friends got married at, which with the long tables and their overflowing flower arrangements, name plates with stylistic font and 4-course western lunch, was really a nice leisurely European-style wedding lunch. So unlike the Chinese dinner versions (which are nice too in a different way but urgh too many of them). The view there at night was gorgeous and breathtaking, inviting you to hang around outside with a drink in hand while socialising. Even socialising in such a glam place expands your mind, makes you want to talk loftier things, things closer to your heart.
I must say the dinner started on a positive note, with me collecting a red wine rather immediately from a waiter standing strategically near the entrance with a tray full of reds, getting my table number and spotting my colleagues sitting outside. But as I made my way over, I bumped into 2 of my peers in other departments, with whom we had been slogging it out on a new piece of legislation the past few weeks. I must say I was abnormally delighted to see them. Although there were some initial frictions and annoyances working together with one of them (whom I thought was a bit anal and unfeeling), after working round the clock for about a week together, seeing one another's professional expertise showing, having been scolded together, having been in scary meetings with a rather stern AGC together and having had differences with the Ministry together, and complained together over IM, we now feel like comrades, with genuine appreciation of one another is capable of, is about, and who like one another. So I joined them immediately and we ended talking there for quite a while about how our items at the last CE meeting went and other work we were busy with other than the legislation, and generally lamenting on the large volume of work that seemed to plague many employees of my current organisation. I must say it gave me a rather deep sense of satisfaction, to be able to talk happily with people other than those in my dept despite the rather rocky relations this year.
Anyway after a while my boss and colleagues came looking for me (they figured since I didn't appear after so long I must have gotten waylaid somewhere) and we got our seats inside (fixed seating!). I still had a great view outside and I wished I had good dinner mates with whom we could have stimulating conversation. I mean good food, good wine, great view, all that’s missing is great conversation! The dinner then progressed quite ordinarily (with quite a few people around me quite curious about my vegan option) until the speeches started happening – and I must say the men were more humorous generally than the women, usually giving tongue-in-cheek and also honest recountings of difficult and challenging situations that they most remembered CE in. And CE spontaneously and gamely went up each time after each speech to give a “rejoinder” or his own response to their versions of the story, and also to give them a hug (except the women). There was a lot of laughter and jesting, even among the men at my table - some even between the boss and his staff (“Eh I always see you at these functions, I think you are quite the slacker you know? I have a little book where I write down who are slackers, and you are on top of my list!”,"Walau boss...." "Hahaha, this is a case of damned if you go, damned if you don’t!”, and “hey my civil side is all ready, can your electrical and mechanical side stop holding us up? Your holding me up you know? You… Eh eh boss come already. Cheers cheers.”) Somewhere in the midst of all this wince-inducing sparring, I realised a lot of the ragging that goes on was actually in good fun and jest and these were men who had worked together for many many years, over various infrastructural projects. Another strange dynamic in my organisation :P
Another highlight of the dinner happened when this Caucasian elderly man opposite me (Eric) started asking me how I found this organisation that I had only been working for a year in. And when I told him I was taken aback by the volume of work to handle and also because I was a rather detailed person, he smiled genially and said with a twinkle in his eye well, then you can’t do that anymore. It was the way he said it, and his demeanour. There is somehow this slowness, relaxedness and profoundness that comes with old age. Wise words to chew on in future. He also mentioned 80-20 and all that. All true.
And then I started asking him if he had been in this field all his life which led him to start talking about the various countries he had been to and his work and then about Scotland and Singapore. And as I was comparing Singapore to other countries like UK and Europe and US where people seemed less materialistic and more into beliefs and ideals, he said I had to understand that Singapore was a very young country, and had achieved a lot on a very short time, and how impressed he was that people could actually better their lives if they sent their kids through school. And that other countries had much longer histories and the people were generally richer too. So there. And I just felt this sense of tapping into a rich source when I was talking to him because (I) he didn’t seem to be in a hurry, which I have always admired in people, who could be slow and leisurely in their responses even when they were incredibly busy and (ii) he knew a lot of history (eg how it wasn’t so long ago that long haul flights weren’t possible and people travelled by boat!). And he also gave more balanced replies with a bit of a wry humourous expression when he replied me which balanced out my youthful angst and energy. I got the impression he wasn’t easily put off by my silly answers and he was also a lot more patient than me. Ah the beauty of the wisdom of old age! I wish I would be like that when I grow old!
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