Hanging out with My Relatives

Today I accompanied my mum (against my and hubby's wishes) to be present at the installation of ling2wei4 for my grandma and grandpa at a columbarium, together with my Cousin, her dad and my Uncle.  Strangely, though these things encroach upon our days like an unwelcome sore or virus, I feel good doing it later.  Perhaps it is the chance to meet up with my relatives once again, people who featured a bigger part of my life when I was young, and whom I hardly meet nowadays.  It is nice to hear their voice, see their facial expressions (and realise with a start how much they resemble their sibling or parents).  It was also nice to hear my mum and uncles talking in their Teochew dialect, either commenting on what food is good in that particular Hawker centre, or which game they are playing on their Hp (candy crush, jackpot).  

We talked about how TV was really quite bad for kids ("they don't have to think" says my Cousin ominously), the hassle of cooking vs ease of eating out, how she juggled work and family ("I told my boss clearly for me, family is number one") and the rising infertility ("I think it's the conditioning of the body.  When you tell your body I don't want kids for too long, it actually responds, perhaps by releasing less hormones etc").  

My Cousin has a very clear and distinct and authoritative voice and it is fun to pick her brains about all sorts of topics.  She talked about her views on bosses ("it is ok to be promoted early if he is talented. But the key factor is whether they are doing it for the good of the country or for something else, eg to show off, prove themselves, spending a bomb in the process").  She also said "IT is never cheap" when I talked about our mistake transiting from excel to an IT system.  I also looked at their lined faces, sometimes smiling, sometimes coughing, and wondered about the mortality of us all.  I Guess looking at altars of deceased can make you think like that.  Death does not seem like such a bad thing.  It's rather peaceful I must say.  

A dream

Last night I dreamt that I was posted to my dream job in my old agency.  I was in charge of all non-Ionising radiation and setting standards and protecting the public against it.  Woohoo!  The reason who I'm so excited to be doing it is because deep down I have a suspicion that all the rise in cancer cases, mental illnesses, children with Behavioural issues and Infertility in our society is in large part due to our ever increasing, constant exposure to radiation, be it watching videos or playing games or often surfing web on our handphones. We also carry them wh us on our bodies more and more,such that they are like an appendage we cannot live without.  Sigh very bad.

The best things in life

Recently I have started Cycling to the MRT again.  It could be the December weather, making for a more pleasant, windy, less smog-ridden ride (not that Singapore is ever that smoggy), or the fact that I had been seeing/hearing/reading about the benefits of Cycling again from the most unlikely places (eg when I meet healthy-looking, vigorous, clear-skinned people from Cycling associations or interest groups, or when I read about the higher workout of Cycling compared to Basketball, burning the stress away in a Robin Cook book, or when I lay in bed a night trying to sleep but feel this 'stuck' feeling in my chest). Anyway, I finally found the time to wheel my bike to the nearest petrol station and got the tires inflated again as they got flat sitting at a bike rack for too Long, and now the ride is incredibly smooth and bouncy.

Anyway, one day I had brought my toddler girl on a ride with me in the early morning to exercise, and I decided on a whim to try another route back.  I have been rather unhappy with my route to MRT as it is all along roads which have moderate to heavy traffic, and the ride back is especially bad when I come back feeling like my nasal passages and face are covered in grime. I had been hoping to find a shortcut that would cut through HDB estates more, to bring me away from traffic, since lining the paths with man-height bushes to keep pollution at Bay seems not to be a priority amongst the government agencies involved.  This time, I decided to try another route back, going along a PCN that runs along the MRT viaduct, even though the last time I tried it, I got hopelessly lost and it took me much longer  to get back.  To my surprise, I found that it was relatively easy to cycle back on this new route, and though half the journey is still along a major road, it doesn't feel that bad (may be the weather and time of year, may be the airflow in that area due to its layout and design), and half of the route is along this very pleasant wide PCN that is next to gardens, trees and residential estates.  Dream!!!  I am much happier now using this route and last night and this morning, when I was feeling rather burdened from some happenings at work (seem to be a common occurrence nowadays), I found the wide open expanse, the clean air and the autonomy of moving swiftly on a bike and exercising my body, invigorating.  And I played Justin Bieber's Love Yourself song on my phone as I rode and calmed myself somewhat.  This is something I hope to impart to my kids in the future - the ability to swim and cycle.  

That got me thinking - you see, life's problems at work are often about getting recognition and respect from bosses, peers, getting ahead in life, but then, I am already quite comfortable where I am (I concluded from observing my Dir that I'm not ready to be a Dir, not at least for a Long Loong time) and I am earning a good salary.  Why do I try so hard?  Why am I so bothered when I don't appear to live up to my own expectations of performance?  I should always try my best, and if it isn't enough, if I care simply about my trade and doing it well for the benefit of Singaporeans all over, and about God and winning His approval, I should know my failings, want to do better, but not feel so beat up about it, you know?  And if the things that bring me joy are things like taking a bike ride at the start or end of the day, feeling lithe and limber as I park my bike (I am aware of how sporty and girl-next-door I look in my sports cap and sports gear) and walk into Tampines Hub looking for a nice cafe for breakfast, thanking God for my healthy body, my slimness, my ability to get around... being with my kids and enjoying them... planning and cooking a nice meal for my friends, family, tidying and putting things in order in the home... watching the occasional movie in the theatre which is such a treat... curling up in bed with excitement as my Husband loads the latest TV series we are watching cos the kids are fast asleep.... laughing with my friends over some joke, well, actually a lot of these things don't cost me much.  So do I need to kill myself at work climbing further?  I don't.  I should do my job well (that seems to be in jeapordy here, but I can always say I'm still learning) and not try to do my boss' job (which I feel I am constantly trying to do, it's like a personal challenge to myself, an unconscious thing I do almost).  Sigh need to keep a rein in on my emotions. I know my weaknesses here are - not being able to articulate the benefits of what we are proposing to the bosses in a way that makes it easy for them to agree, not being able to respond to my staff disagreeing or undermining what I say in a clever and uncombative way, and also having all the history of things at my fingertips, to respond very quickly to questions fired by bosses over WhatsApp or meetings, and having a poker face when I am asked something I don't know offhand or being challenged about our previous position and I am too easily swayed by new arguments and can't remember why we did what we need.  Also need to develop some Armour to when l am being criticised and learn how to diffuse the temper of the person.  I Guess these are things I will work on this coming year.  Will see if I manage to make any improvements at the end of the year!

I am in heaven!

Hello dear reader,

In case you thought you are reading a posthumous post, fear not, I have not died and then possessed someone to write about it (if I did it would be pretty cool though). Haha ok so why I am just bubbling over with excitement is because I discovered this new fantastic author called Jeremy Robinson.

This is how is happened. First I picked up this brand new book displayed at the "New Arrivals" section of the Tampines library, called "Project Nemesis". It has an incredibly cheesy B-grade cover showing some Godzilla-like creature rearing on its two feet and stomping something. Not the typical book I'd pick up in a library. However I was in a rush (as usual) and just needed to grab some promising-looking book to read after I finish with Sophie Kinsella's latest book "My not so perfect life". So yes, I was looking for a change of style and pace, maybe something a little more action-packed and hard-hitting. I had NO idea what I was landing myself into. Cos these spur-of-the-moment picks are very hit and miss, usually they end up being draggy, not very engaging, and I return them after reading a few chapters. However, this book, oh wow. I don't know where to begin. It's simply cracking, fast-paced, almost non-stop action and suspense from the get-go. His action sequences are long, elaborate and one-after-another. Reading it feels a little bit like watching "Train to Busan", where the heart-thumping action never ends. He has such incredible imagination on endless ways to throw his characters into more and more hot soup, and coming up with mind-boggling, ingenious ways to get them out. I just say when I read it on my daily commute on the train, my eyes are glued to the pages and I have this lips-parted, holding -my-breath look of incredulity the whole time. Not a very glam look, I know. But then again, most people on the train are too busy being glued to their own screens or sleeping to notice.

So anyways, I realised the depth of my addiction this author when I realised yesterday after I got into my husband's car (he often gives me a lift home), then I left my book in the office. I felt like rearing up my head in fury and screaming like those monsters he writes about. The feeling of loss and withdrawal I felt, knowing that I would not have his juicy book on the train in my morning commute the next day, felt worse than caffeine withdrawal. That was when I knew I am in deep. Then last night, as I was at the playground with my kids and hubby (yes we are odd parents who bring our kids downstairs after dinner for a runaround before bed), I decided to bring along my Hp and google this author, just to see what other people are saying about his rip-roaring writing style.

I couldn't believe my eyes when the first thing I see is a list of images of the books he published. As I scrolled left, I couldn't help chuckling to myself, that he had written not one, but quite a few books. There's more!!! And then I clicked on some other links and discovered that this author had actually written a jaw-dropping sixty over novels and novellas!!! He is so prolific! I feel like a kid who got way more than he expected for Christmas, or a poor kid who just entered a candy store and told he can grab as much as he wants. Even better than striking lottery I think. I've discovered another Robin Cook-like author who is even more prolific than Robin cook! Only instead of medical thrillers, he writes sci-fi Monster action thrillers.

Ok so since I don't have my beloved book with me his morning, I decided to use it so blog about it. Not a bad waste of time after all, is it? If you love Jeremy's Robinson too, give me a shout!:)