Today I accompanied my mum (against my and hubby's wishes) to be present at the installation of ling2wei4 for my grandma and grandpa at a columbarium, together with my Cousin, her dad and my Uncle. Strangely, though these things encroach upon our days like an unwelcome sore or virus, I feel good doing it later. Perhaps it is the chance to meet up with my relatives once again, people who featured a bigger part of my life when I was young, and whom I hardly meet nowadays. It is nice to hear their voice, see their facial expressions (and realise with a start how much they resemble their sibling or parents). It was also nice to hear my mum and uncles talking in their Teochew dialect, either commenting on what food is good in that particular Hawker centre, or which game they are playing on their Hp (candy crush, jackpot).
We talked about how TV was really quite bad for kids ("they don't have to think" says my Cousin ominously), the hassle of cooking vs ease of eating out, how she juggled work and family ("I told my boss clearly for me, family is number one") and the rising infertility ("I think it's the conditioning of the body. When you tell your body I don't want kids for too long, it actually responds, perhaps by releasing less hormones etc").
My Cousin has a very clear and distinct and authoritative voice and it is fun to pick her brains about all sorts of topics. She talked about her views on bosses ("it is ok to be promoted early if he is talented. But the key factor is whether they are doing it for the good of the country or for something else, eg to show off, prove themselves, spending a bomb in the process"). She also said "IT is never cheap" when I talked about our mistake transiting from excel to an IT system. I also looked at their lined faces, sometimes smiling, sometimes coughing, and wondered about the mortality of us all. I Guess looking at altars of deceased can make you think like that. Death does not seem like such a bad thing. It's rather peaceful I must say.
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