The Guilt of a Working Mother

Just caught up with an ex-colleague who is a fellow working Mom who moved from a high-stress job to a less stressful organisation, but still working full time. As we were commiserating about how working mums often feel neither able to fully commit at work Nor ever feel we spend enough time with our kids, we hit upon a mantra which may help us (or me in particular) navigate the guilt-ridden waters in our exhausting journey.

It was something which a Director once shared as his parenting philosophy. He said "I have always said to God, God, these are YOUR kids, I am merely a caretaker for these lives which you have assigned me in this life." I think if we were to think like that, to only focus on our roles as Mother or Father and not to worry so much about how the kids will turn out, because there is no way we can control that outcome, then I would be a lot less stressed. I just need to think about my input into their lives, and how I can help them along I grow up into mature, fulfilled adults who can navigate this world of ours, and I should be all set.

Hmm what would that entail -

I should Ensure they always have nutritious food (and not junk food), get enough sleep in an airy, comfortable space, they have enough hobbies to occupy them, get enough exercise and they love learning. And I think I should Ensure I spend some time with each kid every 3 daya perhaps? So every day I spend some special time with one kid. So that I'm available. And cos each kid likes doing different things, eg oldest likes Star Wars and physical, imaginative activities like playing house or doing science experiments, second likes reading and puzzles and third one likes going out, I can plan something each day. And when they come to me with questions or I find them doing something unacceptable, instead of yelling at them or ordering them around, I should model the right behaviour, and explain the consequences of their actions to them, tell them my views, and let them choose. And I should pray for them often. That is the most important of all, I think.