Soulmate

I was recently having lunch with my colleagues and we were laughing about whether it was important for a couple to share common interests (thanks to a colleague who is going on follow-up dates after going on a cruise for singles). After some probing, it was revealed that this colleague of mine is not too keen on this lady due to a lack of common interests. She was more Chinese (her interests - karaoke and HK dramas) whereas he was more English-speaking and had other interests that did not include hers. Intrigued, I polled various people around the table on whether they thought having common interests was important for any relationship to last. The conclusion was that it definitely helps, but you need not if you have enough other things in common like religion or if both have different interests but one of them is easy-going enough to go along with the other person's interests. If both have different interests and both refuse to budge to participate in the other's interests, well, I guess the relationship has to have other groundings (e.g. religion, perhaps kids?).

Anyway, this made me think of a wish I used to have when I was young - that I would find someone who was an exact clone of myself. I know many people cringe when they are asked if they would like to hang out with a clone of themselves, but I used to be filled with delight and glee at what marvellous wonderful conversations we would have and what fun activities we could enjoy together. Because this person would be an exact replica of me, she would totally understand where I was coming from when i made a remark (and how I am always looking for the funny side of things and to have a good laugh), she would instantly agree with me when I share a view that is against the grain and against mainstream and be like "Totally right? I fully agree with you!". She would care about the same altruistic causes as me (eg helping people find their passion, life their lives abundantly the way Christ wanted us to, which actually means carrying the criss, not having all our flesh wants), and be enraged about the same trends (eg environmental degradation, over prevalence of wireless technology and slavery to mindless entertainment and games). We would spur each other on towards our goals, having the same goals, which would be so refreshing since I feel like I'm going it alone most of the time. She would laugh hysterically at the same jokes, chuckle at the same foibles I encounter at meetings. She would understand how certain things transport me to the divine (eg a perfectly made cup of Hong Kong milk tea, certain songs, a really good piece of writing), and not laugh at me if I really dread or struggle with doing certain things (e.g. paying bills, keeping track of my finances, having insurance). She would help me look on the bright side of people and things, just like I always do for the people around me, and share verses to encourage me. This would be the closest to a soulmate I could come to! Of course it would be great if she had some differences from me like it would be fine if she was more reserved (somehow I tend to get along better with more reserved people), better at certain things, had a slightly different view on things but who could explain it so gently to me she would never break my heart.

In fact, in my life I have had the privilege of encountering some people who embodied certain traits I described above. Eg there was this guy, K, who was as idealistic or even more idealistic and non-rat race-chasing than me. He was a Christian when I was still a Buddhist-Taoist and puzzling about the futility and emptiness of the academic paper chase. At that time, he seemed wise beyond his years and we would have long conversations, sometimes deep into the night, theorising about life and people. I will always remember him fondly, having nursed a huge crush on him for more than 2 years. Another person I can think of is my best friend of many years. She is my ideal chat mate and we have such awesome chats because she is as eloquent and of the same intellect as me and we have enough common shared experiences to laugh at the same things and to empathise at the same horrible experiences we encounter. This best friend of mine is currently in HK making lots of money and living the high life. I know, my soulmates are greatly varying :P The last person I would like to cite is this girl I met in university, who if you believe some of the things she shared at certain private moments (which she would deny afterwards), went through some horrible stuff in her childhood. But she is the most warm, supportive and gentle person I know. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, and in the 2 years I have known her, she never made a sarcastic or caustic remark, never made you feel bad when you spoke to her, and as a result, you knew your innermost secrets and fears were safe with her. This doesn't mean she agrees with everything I say too, which would be insincere, but somehow she would try and empathise, laugh about it even, and somehow get her point across, that perhaps I wasn't totally right. What a wonderful, marvellous person! I must say others who share my sense of heroism and grand feats for God might be people like Elizabeth Elliot, Keith Green etc. I love these great giants of the faith! Unfortunately, I don't have any living person whom I am close to, who is of the same mind as me on these issues. Though I have been praying for a Christian sister who will be closer than blood, this hasn't materialised so far. Ah well, we can't have everything in life, and in the meantime, there is Jesus who is always with me. I just need to get closer to Him. A lesson in itself! More in my next post.