Saturday, February 2, 2008

Jokes repository

I have come across quite a few funny jokes these 2 days and I thought I should write them down to cheer myself up in future before they get lost in the hazy recesses of my memory:

From questionable analogies:
The sun rose over the horizon like a great big radioactive baby's head with a bad sunburn, but then again it might just have been that Lisa was always cranky this early in the morning

Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

Joke about ladies and diplomats
When a lady says "no", she means "maybe".
When she says "maybe", she means "yes".
When she says "yes", she's no lady!

When a diplomat says "yes", he means "maybe".
When he says "maybe", he means "no".
When he says "no", he's no diplomat!

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