Run. Hide. Seek.

I recently finished a trilogy YA dystopian series set in Singapore (what more could I ask for) called Run Hide Seek. And to cap it all off, it's written by a 14 year-old Singaporean girl!!! I was strangely excited and floored and inspired when I found that out. I remember laughing out loud to myself on the train when I read this on my phone and whooping and shaking my head at the same time :) If she can do it, what more us adults? We really have no excuse now.

She is called Gabby Tye and her story on how she wrote this book is quite inspiring. She got this book together when her Mom made her to write 300 words a day instead of watching all this "online nonsense" and before she knew it, she had enough to make a book! Ok so her Mom is a publisher/editor, and is hence in the business, so you could argue unfair advantage, privileged background, but still - it's pretty something huh? She actually made something out of it, when many other privileged kids probably don't. Having written many stories since my childhood days and not having finished many long ones, I can tell you what she did takes a lot of perseverance, and her imagination was quite brilliant too.

Though the thick pages and more widely-spaced words take getting some used to, her story sucks you in right away as its always fast-paced, and written like an action movie. When I read it, the similarities with some other popular books/movies immediately struck me, but they are not complete rip-offs, more like a blend of Hunger Games meets World War Z meets Maze Runner meets Divergent. Yes, ALL my favourite movies/books. What’s not to like?!!🙂. When I was in a scriptwriting course this was an exercise my teacher taught us to generate fun, creative plot lines and ideas when we are dry – randomly pick two movie titles from a bag and try to come up with a logline blending them together. Eg I may pick Jurassic Park and Matrix. So a logline may be – the story of how a person is the chosen one to go back in time and save the dinosaurs, but he wakes up and it’s all a dream or an alternate reality. Ok I’m totally making that up but I’m sure that was how movies like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (which my husband assures me actually works as a movie) were born.

Anyway back to the series. I’m quite fascinated by how she managed to weave in elements and plot points from all these stories, threw in some ideas of her own, and make a refreshing, whole new compelling kick-ass story out of it. Well done, girl *enthusiastic clapping* !!! Isn’t this what Korean dramas are doing? Pushing the boundaries of what is a genre and mixing genres (eg supernatural romance mystery thriller) to get a whole new product. And she ALSO landed a China book publishing deal where her books will be translated and sold in China, and go on to inspire a lot more young writers to be sure.
I am personally motivated from this to get my butt into gear (despite being a working Mom with 3 kids and church responsibilities) and to just do what she did – make myself write a certain number of words a day. Anyway all the writing books tell me to. They say the key to being a successful writer is discipline and habit, to write write write. And the stories will come. In a way, this blog helps me do that.

Ok what I liked about her book:

– how the heroine has something special about her (although I did think her personality could have been made more distinctive, where she could be sullen and protective like Katniss, or heck-care like Mary in a Christopher Pike book, or geeky and underdog like many other heroes in his book too)

– how there is a love triangle (ah, reminded me of how crushes feel!)

– her relationship with her Mom (I think she tried to be politically correct in her book, as her Mom is editor and she’d only 14!)

– the state of the future world and why it happened (themes of bad farming, environmental destruction, genetic manipulation, resonates with what I think is wrong in this world today and is what is refreshing about her book, that she brings in these themes in a layman and understandable, non-intimidating and non-yawn inducing way)

– how the action never stops, reminding me of Christopher Pike and Suzanne Collins’ writing.
That is what I am weak in – writing action. I may like reading action-packed books and have watched endless action movies, but ask me to write an action sequence and my brain just shuts down,. And if I’m forced to, like in my scriptwriting class, the writing comes out clunky and amateurish, and frankly, painful to read. I’m surprised my scriptwriting teacher (who came from Hollywood by the way – thank you Media Academy!) didn’t even comment on it. He wrote a lot of other comments though. Maybe he was laughing so hard he decided to spare me the pain. But hey, got to have the growth mindset right? With hard work and grit and laser-like focus, and the right training/teacher, I should be able to master it. If I ever need to, that is.
So, to the mattresses! Which means, let’s get cracking!

One art homework - two different personalities

Hello all!

It's been a loong time since my last post and here's why - I recently got seconded to another statutory board and it has been crazy learning the new content and interpersonal dynamics of new teams, getting used to my new bosses, and also juggling being a Mom of 3 kids and being a Loving Wife. Maybe more on that in another post :P

I wanted to talk about this homework assignment that my two boys, 5 and 4, recently got from their preschool. It caught my attention as their preschool never assigns homework (as it should be) and this time they wanted e boys to each do a 2D or 3D image of a sea creature, in line with the theme "sea creatures".

My older son, who doesn't like art much, distractedly told me he wanted to draw a crab when I asked him multiple times what sea creature he wanted to draw (he can be quite decisive). Then when I gave him a blank sheet of paper and paint, he immediately started covering it with dark blue. Then before it quite dried, he selected orange and yellow, and drew a rough oval, two beady eyes that were too big, and then four legs on each side with quick short brush strokes. Then he ran off. I had actually collected a small collection of sea shells from an earlier time when we were at Pasir Ris beach (that place has lots of sea shells unlike East Coast) and I asked my maid to get it out. I also went around my HDB estate scouting for some soil. Turns out someone had discarded a large potted plant in the community garden near my house, and I got a bucket and scooped in a fair amount of reddish-brown clayey soil. From their art class, I got the idea to mix the soil with glue, and then I smeared it along the bottom of the painting, to simulate the sea bed. Then I wanted to glue each shell on. However, it was already very late when I smeared the soil so I told my boy let's paste the shells tomorrow morning. But he insisted on doing it before bed and you know what he did? He just took each shell and pressed it into the soil mixture, and it somehow stuck! And he went on pressing them randomly until he finished pasting everything, and then he ran off. I looked at the finished art piece and chuckled to myself. It somehow portrayed the image of a crab scuttling very quickly to the side, and it was so reminiscent of how my own boy is like in real life, always moving, running, never resting (unless you give him some kind of screen).

My younger boy is a different matter - he wanted to paint a jellyfish, and when I gave him his paper, he kept painting over and over the same spot until the paper broke through with all the watery paint. And we had to do it over and over again. In the end, it was his first jellyfish (which he did without putting much effort in) that looked semi-presentable and which I brought to their school. The strange thing is, the older son's art looked better than the younger one's.

It shows their different personalities - the older one likes things fast, speed, and he doesn't waste time on things he doesn't like very much. The younger one is very painstaking in his art which reflects his perfectionist personality.

How interesting what an art exercise can reveal.

On Flashcards and Right Brain Training

It is so ironic that about a week after I wrote the post on the importance of slowing down, I went into early labour for my current, third pregnancy, had to be admitted to hospital in the middle of a work day, had an emergency procedure performed on me, was put on medication to stop the contractions, and then sent home with hospitalisation leave until I deliver! I was also told not to walk around save for meals, bath and toilet. And this was despite my firm intention to work until I deliver. Ah the best-laid plans...

Being only 34 weeks pregnant, and with my gynae saying fervently (he makes this praying motion with his hands every time he says it) that if I can make it to 38 weeks, he would be very happy, meant I would be on bed rest for another 4 weeks. And if I delivered then, I would go on my maternity leave, which was another 16 weeks! So I would be out of action from office for least 20 weeks. Sometimes, I think my boss and colleagues curse themselves for having me as a colleague, as this is not the first pregnancy-related complication I've had. It so happens I also have a very kiasu, trigger-happy gynae who prescribes MC liberally to be on the 'safe side' and safeguard every pregnancy. My husband, who often thinks I work too hard (my work is not stressful!), had also insisted in the past on enough MC to tide me over the first trimester, which is often the tricky part. I must say, this is the first time I have had MC for the last trimester of my pregnancy, which goes to show every pregnancy is different.

You may think that, since I wrote my previous post, I would take this opportunity to slow down and contemplate the deeper things in life, or just to prepare for the third addition to the family, but alas no. I have been bored out of my mind lying in bed most of the day, and being unable to leave the house much, I can't even do much packing or housework or go to the library to stock up on books. So I have been logging on to my work computer a few hours every day to settle the "important" stuff, and playing with my kids while lying down once they are back from childcare. Recently, I have taken to heading out to the neighbourhood centre for meals and doing some light shopping, and doing a spot of baking. It has been more than a week since I have been put on bedrest and only now have I gotten down to blogging again (which is my way of thinking more deeply about things). So it goes to show. It takes a while for a speeding train to slow down :P

Ok! I have almost finished two really awesome books, with loads of practical applications to my daily life. They are:

(a) Einstein never used flashcards: How our children really learn - And why they need to play more and memorise less
(b) The meaning of marriage

Let me talk a little bit about the first book.

Recently, we have been feeling guilty that we have not sent our kids to any enrichment classes at all, and having 2 kids who are aged 3 and 4, that seems a bit old not to have attended any (except the few sessions of Zoophonics which my elder son hated and we pulled him out soon after). At that time, we also discovered some free enrichment classes in early June, to interest parents in sending their kids over the June holidays, so we brought our kids to two such classes - an art class for very young kids, which was quite hard to find (most of them want kids above 4 plus), and another was a Japanese method of training the right brain of very young kids called Heguru. I guess it is similar to Shichida, which also uses flashcards, and trains photographic memory, but it is clearly different and according to the founder, relatively new to Singapore.

When I attended the free introductory lesson for Heguru, we were treated to videos of kids in Japan who had been trained under this method for years. What they could do seemed out of this world. It was like they were aliens from outer space. Some kids could do "wave reading" whereby they just flipped through a book really fast (think of flipping fast enough to get little cartoon figures to move), and after doing it a few times, they could write down in a fair amount of detail what the book said! They could also make up complex structures out of plastic cups really fast, and point out the number of dots on a paper flashed before them really briefly. I thought it looked like a freak show, but my husband was duly impressed and signed them up for a month's worth of classes. I asked the founder, who was conducting the introductory lesson, what were the life outcomes of these kids, and he said rather evasively that they did not track them. Personally, I was also thinking, so what if a kid could speed read like that, that could take a lot of enjoyment out of life! I mean, how were they going to find enough good books to occupy their time if they devoured them that fast! He talked about how by showing them flashcards really really fast, they were forcing the kids to switch from their left brain, which processed things more linearly, to their right brain, which could process things much faster. But by the time a kid reaches a certain age, they are unable to access the right brain as much (cue scary music for parents!). Hence we have to expose our kids now. In fact the younger the better (e.g. 18 months).

Well, it was so coincidental (or maybe divinely arranged?) that right after the class, I wandered into a children's bookstore in the same mall, and my eyes alighted on the book with the title "Einstein never used flashcards". I laughingly pointed it out to my husband, who replied "not many kids have the intelligence of Einstein". *Roll eyes*

The following week, they attended their first lesson and I sat with my younger son while my husband sat with my older one. My jaw dropped at how fast the 2 girls were talking and flipping through the flashcards. They were showing pictures of so many detailed things that I never thought of exposing my kid to - constellation names, pictures of famous paintings from a certain artist, landmarks in Germany, addition, subtraction and even multiplication, and even sang songs to them in a different language. They also made them do origami, when clearly my 3-year old lacked the fine motor skills to fold anything in a straight line. One kid kept screaming and crying and had to be brought out of the class after a while. The rest just sat there and either looked a bit shell-shocked, or started getting distracted at some point.

As I left, I stopped my the bookstore and bought the book, as I could not locate it in the library, and my curiosity was killing me.

As expected, it ridiculed the need to train kids at a young age to memorise letters, numbers, and names of famous painters, as memorising a lot of facts did not equate intelligence or understanding. It also said that kids who went to more academically-inclined preschools faired no differently in terms academic performance from those who went to more play-based preschools, except kids who went to the former were more anxious and stressed about learning. And it talked about how it was more important for parents to talk to their children in their daily life, or talk to them about what was happening in the storybook, to ask them questions, and to answer their questions, so that they learn in context, rather than memorise a lot of random facts. Talking frequently to our kids also helps them make sense of things that happened to them, and builds their emotional intelligence and resilience. And we can do many things to make reading and math fun. Like asking them about what the characters are feeling and why. Entertaining their questions about what they see in a book. Making them count their favourite toys, or share something, or giving them an allowance starting with really small amounts (nothing teaches math like money!). I must say my kids sometimes like to ask so many questions when I read, it takes a while to get through a page. But according to the book, we should relish such interactions!

And it also talked about the importance of giving them both convergent toys (where there is only one right answer, like a puzzle), and divergent toys (where there are many possible answers, like lego or blocks), to stimulate their creativity. And to give them time for free play, so they learn to entertain themselves and come up with things to do (an important skill in adulthood!) instead of always relying on videos or a screen to do it for them.

And not to praise them for their intelligence (guilty!), but for their effort; not to go wild with applause when they get the right answers (guilty again!), but to value their approach in solving the problem or arriving at the answer. Because it is their willingness to make the effort, to persevere, and to apply the right approaches, that will help them solve future problems. Praising them for intelligence may cause them to fear getting anything wrong, and being pleased when they get the right answer may produce more rote-learning than real learning.

All very tough lessons for me to apply, but in a future world where information can frequently be obtained via a search engine, the ability to amass and retain large amounts of information may not be as important as the ability to organise the information and to think critically and creatively.

Lastly, I reflected on my own childhood growing up. Funnily, my Grandma took care of me during my preschool years, and she was always too busy doing chores to bother with me. This meant I spent a lot of time lying on the living room sofa, watching TV or staring at the ceiling. One of my favourite pastimes was apparently washing my hands in the kitchen while talking to myself! I also eventually made up imaginary characters that I would talk to (including a younger sister) and when I started reading, to writing my own stories. My mum and dad were too busy working to play with me. And according to the Einstein book, having an imaginary friend was a sign of creativity in a child (think Calvin and Hobbes), and yet I suspect this often arises out of a lack of companions (Calvin didn't have any siblings, just like me) and boredom.

Hence, maybe our job as parents is much simpler than it really is - we just have to talk to our kids when we get home, read to them, give them both convergent and divergent toys, and limit their screen time so they can have a chance to be bored :)

And by the way, my husband didn't bring our kids to their third Heguru lesson, cos even he was starting to doubt the ability of my kids to absorb what was going on, and my older son was falling asleep in it! The art class, however, is another matter. We signed up for another 12 lessons this week as we were so smitten by the art work they were bringing back (see below), and as the teachers were providing us with good feedback on the relative abilities of my sons (younger one has better fine motor skills and more patience, older son is quick to finish and starts running around). I guess sometimes, old-fashioned hobbies are best.

Younger son's art

Older son's art

The Importance of Slowing Down

On World Environment Day (5 June), I attended at a conference on sustainability. Such a broad, general topic. I was in a dark mood when I arrived, convinced that I would waste a whole morning listening to self-congratulatory speeches and banal, motherhood statements on sustainability, when I had a lot of work waiting back in office for me.

To my surprise, I found myself hearing of things I had never heard much of before. Things like the Circular Economy, and hearing about cool companies that were helping to make it happen like Airbnb (you open up spare rooms in homes to tourists), Uber (you offer to drive people who need a ride and/or are going the same way), Rent Tycoons (you offer to rent stuff you own to others), Block Pooling (people from the same neighbourhood share professional services, contacts, advice and lend/borrow stuff from one another). One speaker also talked about how IKEA bought back used Christmas trees from their customers for a fee, to be used to make furniture! This was a nice concept of a win-win.

It was immensely refreshing to hear about such awesome concepts that were good for the environment and also good business.

I thought about all the tasks I was busy with at work, and some of the concepts I had heard from the panellists was actually helping me change my perspective on how I would tackle some of them. And wasn't it ironic that here I was, supposedly wasting my time at an irrelevant conference, and having all these thoughts that might actually make a bigger impact on my work than if I had spent an incredibly efficient morning finishing all of my tasks really well.

A speaker talked about how "we are accelerating our thoughts and actions at a breathless rate" today. With internet literally on our fingertips, we can gather information, find out what other people are doing, consume news and entertainment at an incredible, continuous rate.

All this might make it seem like we can make really good decisions, but I actually think this might result in us making decisions similar to everybody else. Worse, all this information overload and busyness is stifling the creativity and our ability to think deeply about issues. Yes, I am not into Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Yet I also fill whatever time I have with work, children, really good fiction novels (by the way, I recently discovered Michael Crichton - what a renaissance man!).

I realized that there is value in taking time to sit back and to think deeply about our situations, if not every day, then at least once a week. To take a step back, reflect on what has been happening in our lives, think about the roots of the problems, the bigger picture, ask ourselves questions and let our minds wander and come up with answers and solutions that are true to ourselves.

I am very sure that by taking a little time to do this every week, we will become a lot more focused and effective when we ARE busy. And we will be able to see a lot more clearly, through all the BS and the details that clutter up our eyeballs, ears and fog up our minds, the best answer and solution that has a big impact and would bring us nearer to our goals, not further.

As they say, fast is slow and slow is fast. Less is more and more is less.

Parenting Philosophies

I have been scratching my head about what my parenting philosophy should be. By parenting philosophy, I mean - what do I really want my kids to develop into, and to have in life. What character traits, values, abilities, skills do I want them to have, which means I should spend time and effort inculcating in them? In our kiasu Singapore environment, I find when I don't determine for myself what I think is important, I end up stressing a lot about which preschools to send them to, which primary schools, and whether and which enrichment programmes to send them to... I'm sure many moms can relate to that.

A few weeks ago, if asked, I guess I would say my parenting philosophy is:

- I want my kids to be emotionally healthy, which means not insecure, not possessive, able to care and empathise with others, able to deal with personal failure and disappointments with others in a healthy way etc


- That my kids love to read as I do, as reading opens up whole new worlds of literature, thought and endless hours of entertainment and enjoyment

Recently, I had another small epiphany on this topic.

It started with a dream I had. It was a while ago, and I would have forgotten this entirely if I had not written it down in my handphone. In my dream, I think I was looking at one of my sons doing something, and suddenly I had this feeling of how God feels when one of His creation is doing something well that God created him/her to have the gift or aptitude to do – and it was a feeling of intense pleasure. It could pertain to something as simple as a runner running fast and exalting in his body, in the speed, in the exhilaration of running. Of a gifted musician jamming on his piano, creating beautiful music that uplifts his or her soul. Or a talented painter bringing colours of this world captured in his mind’s eye to life. Or even a mother, cooking a delicious meal for her family, and making the home a great place to be. Or a hairdresser, completely focused on giving the best haircut for the person before him or her.

This throws on its head what I have always believed pleases God. I have always thought God is pleased when we do the traditional “spiritual” things, like help to expand His kingdom (e.g. win souls, pray for souls, teach Bible study, serve in church, give money to the less fortunate), act in a Christ-like way like do something self-sacrificial for others, and generally obey the Bible.

But through my dream, I realised that God is also tremendously pleased to have his people do the things they were made to be are really good at doing, or have an innate talent for.

The closest verses in the Bible that talks about this is in Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” and 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”.

Hence, when I relate it to what my parenting philosophy ought to be, I feel in addition to the traits I listed above, I would like them to discover their passions and gifts, and to apply them as much as they can in their lives. So far, in my two sons, I am starting to tell what their natural talents are. My older son has a photographic memory, seems to have an affinity for music and math, and is kinesthetically-gifted. I would say the last talent is the most obvious. As a mom who loves words and was a "nerd" in school, I can't help lamenting to myself why can't he have developed a more useful gift? My younger son seems to like words and books, good food and creature comforts. Ah... did I say the younger one takes after me?

I am still discovering whether these passions and gifts are true in my kids, and to what extent. But if they are indeed true, I should probably help them develop more in those areas, and eventually pursue hobbies and careers that make use of such abiltiies. That is probably how they will come close to finding true joy and living out their purpose in life.

My Crazy Preschool Search

Hi!

It's been a while since I last posted and today I'd like to document my crazy big search for a good preschool for my dear son, which started 2 years ago and only ended yesterday :P

Let's see, let me start with my criteria for a good preschool:
(a) It has to be a school that is either within walking distance, or has a school bus that serves my area, and the journey should not be too long
(b) The teachers should be warm and engaging, and speak properly
(c) Curriculum should have a balance of academics (teaching them to read and write and speak) and moral values
(d) Good reviews online

Let's see, the first preschool I visited was Bedok Methodist Kindergarten, because that's where my husband went to when he was a kid, and it's also near his parents.  I was nonchalant when I visited, and I remember nothing really impressed me about that school.  The teachers were warm, the kids looked engaged, but the distance was a bit troubling.  It was a bit far from where we were staying, and if we sent our kid there, he would spend half the day at my in-laws', and I can imagine him watching Chinese TV dramas and cooking shows while playing with trains the whole afternoon, until we picked him up.  My in-laws are not very talkative people and they believe in leaving the kids to themselves, while the adults went on with their work/chores.  So I can imagine a very non-stimulating environment for my son, and that was a no-no.

The second school we visited was Pat's Schoolhouse at Siglap.  It was a premium full-day childcare and I had high hopes as I visited it.  However, two things put me off: the premises looked very cramped, the staircase high and winding, and when one set of kids came out of the classroom, clutching some craft they had just made, to go to their next programme, I couldn't help thinking they looked a bit listless, and one boy definitely looked a bit cross-eyed as he looked at me.  And the overwhelming feeling I got (together with their very impressive curriculum) was that, they totally overwhelm the kids with learning and activities, so that they have no time to think or process or just play around and be kids.  The kids looked quite washed out.  So I decided against them.  I later visited another Pat's Schoolhouse branch at Buckley road, but that is for another blog post.

Then was a whole slew of preschools, which we struck out because they were either
(a) Showing cartoons to the kids during school-time (Just Kids)
(b) Telling off a boy for almost 20 minutes in a very naggy, bad-tempered way when the teacher was supposed to be teaching some words to a group of eager student (PCF near my place)
(c) Leaving kids alone to run amock while a lone teacher mopped up urine grumbling the whole time (same PCF)
(d) Did not seem to have an English teacher who pronounced properly (Creative Twinkles), and who also seemed to be generally lacking in energy and slow in movement (she took 10-15 minutes just to set up a projector and computer the whole time I was there), although she was very friendly 
(d) Having a mix of teachers who ranged from very experienced to very inexperienced, and but knowing the inexperienced young teacher would be the one who would be taking the youngest class (Carpe Diem)
(e) Having a very weak academic curriculum (Kiddiwinkie near my workplace, and Hope Community Kindergarten)
(f) Being crazily expensive but having teachers who seemed just like myself - young and no commanding presence or great speaking voice to make them stand out as teachers (Odyssey) - yes maybe I am benchmarking against Julie Andrews a bit in Sound of Music, but for the highest childcare fees in Singapore, surely the teachers should be a cut above the rest?
(g) Having a great curriculum and teachers (except for a stern-looking Chinese PRC teacher who looked totally humourless and unhappy to be with kids all day) but was in a location where my husband would have to pick him up at 7pm sharp every day, which is stressful. 

By this time, I had this weary feeling like this item "Find preschool" would be a task item that could never get crossed off my list, and time was ticking away.

Then one day, as I was in cell group, we were doing a topic on Insecurities, and one of the homework was to do research on the verses in the Bible that addressed our insecurities.  No surprises, one of my greatest insecurities is not bringing up my kids in the best way possible, and somehow limiting their full potential later in life.  When I did a cursory internet search on verses on bringing up children, however, I was shocked to find out - not only does the Bible not talk about the importance of sending your kid to a good school, of excelling in academics, and not being tall enough or focused or well-behaved, it only talks about the importance of three things -- sharing with them about God's Word, teaching them to love God, and disciplining them when we need to, and not exasperating them.  I then added one more thing to my search criteria - the preschool should be in a church, which preferably will impart Christian values to my son too.  This was also bolstered (divine coincidence) by several recent testimonies of friends/colleagues who sent their kids to church kindergartens, Christians and non-Christians alike, and were all very happy with them.

So, I did a google search on church kindergartens in the east, and found a couple of them.  Then I checked the reviews, and struck out a couple, and called the rest.  One of them was already full, so that was out.  Another was very near but not yet built, so we can only decide in November (again, more on that later).  Another apparently had run-down facilities and no other online reviews.  So I put it a bit lower on my list.  Another looked extremely promising (St Hilda's Kindergarten) but I found out to my horror later that it was actually very far from my place, and my son would have to be on the bus more than 2 hours a day, and skip lunch every day.  I did identify one promising church kindergarten, which was in Pasir Ris - Pentecostal Methodist Church Kindergarten (PMCK) with good reviews and the bus uncle promised he could fetch kids living in my area, so my hubby and I went down yesterday to visit it. 

To our surprise, the church was quite bright and well-maintained, even new-looking, and I saw the word "missions" on one of the banners, which gave me a good feeling.  When I peeped into a few classrooms, the kids all were gathered around the teacher in a tight knot and being alert and raising hands (unlike many preschools where the kids were dispersed all around the class doing their own thing, and only a select group was with the teacher), and later when some classes filed out to go to assembly, I was pleasantly surprised that they were all very alert-looking and very pleasant in demeanour and well-behaved.  They didn't look listless nor were they overly boisterous, just very happy, well-behaved kids.  And when I saw a teacher teaching them some PE movement, the kids quickly followed suit.  I think if I send my kid here, he may not become the most independent and original thinker in town, nor score marks for inquisitiveness, but he will learn to follow teacher's instructions and maybe a bit of self-control.  That is important when he goes into our education system later on - I often worry that my son will not be able to sit still in class, or concentrate enough at home to finish his homework.  Their curriculum seemed the same as many other curriculums we saw, thematic and all that, and they followed Jolly Phonics (so at least they do follow a system, unlike in some schools when the teacher could not even articulate that), and the admin lady who was bringing us around stressed that they do teach values through their 15 min assembly every morning and big assembly time on Fris, so the only down side was that we did not get to observe the teachers actually teaching in class and pronouncing, and we also saw a Filipino teacher who was teaching the class my son would be in next year.  We then find out, to our surprise, that the admin lady also attended the same church as me!  There were also vacancies left (not many) for the morning session, so even after he attends enrichment, he will still be back in good time for lunch.

Anyway, after a short discussion with my hubby, and since their fees were not steep, we decided to put down a deposit to guarantee a place for our son next year, all the while stressing that I would hope my son would NOT get the class with the Filipino teacher to the admin lady (and she kept saying no promises, but I think she will take note).

And the even funnier thing is, I find out later that night at cell group that the church - Pentecostal Methodist Church - is actually the church attended by one of my cell members (yes there are 3 who do not attend my church in my cell)!  What a small world!  She was not there though, so I could not squeal over this coincidence with her.  But I will next week :)

I have been praying for a long time to make a wise decision on preschool for my sons and I considered this an answered prayer - for then.

After my boy started attending, we felt the preschool was fine, no complaints about the teachers (the Filipino teacher ended up being the super caring one) and my kid did find another naughty (oops, I meant active) boy and a few others to be his close friends, but we decided to pull my kid out because I was unexpectedly expecting a number 3 (planned by God!) and after running through the different care-taking arrangements and scenarios decided that it would be best if we sent both boys to full day childcare instead of half-day preschool, so my mum and maid can focus on taking care of the baby in the daytime.

So, we started hunting for a Christian full-day childcare near my place. I recalled the ECDA website had mentioned there would be a new childcare very near my place called Bethlehem Educare and checked the website and the tel no for any updates. To cut a long story short, it eventually opened, is within walking distance of my place, and the student-to-teacher ratio is very desirable - my eldest boy's class only has 4 students (with 2 teachers) and my younger boy's class has about 6 - 8 kids. The teachers are dedicated and passionate about the kids, giving me very detailed feedback about both my kids during the parent teacher conference, my eldest boy found another naughty little boy to be good friends with (see the pattern?), and my gentle younger one has become inseparable with a little girl (gasp!). So, this ends my preschool search phase 2. I hope there won't be a phase 3!!!

A Few Lessons From God

Hello hello,

I guess sometimes insomnia is a good friend of bloggers!  I have been lamenting to myself and my friends about the lack of time to write this year, and since I find myself wide awake for no particular reason at 2am tonight, and happened to be online as I was shutting down my computer, I decided why not write about some things I believe God is teaching me these few weeks.

I guess many times, God speaks to me through repetition, or coincidence, or "divine resonance" of events, which is a cheem way of saying, how unrelated things over a period of time (maybe a month) seem to have the same theme or touch on the same topic.  This is the case these past few weeks.

Let's see.  It started with Sister Cynthia who visited my cell group as a guest speaker, to share about how she saw her role in the body of Christ.  She was a soft-spoken, genteel lady but when she spoke on this topic, you could sense the fire in her soft, velvet-like voice.  She spoke about how she felt, through verses that jumped out at her when she read the Bible, inner passions that never go away and through the inner witness of the Holy Spirit, that she was to be a sort of "watchman" for this generation, to awaken more people of God to know their calling in God, or the role God wants them to play in His kingdom, and to fulfil it, and to raise up more workers for God in the harvest field.  I wondered of course, what was my role in the kingdom of God, and was reminded once again of how I felt convicted to write my thoughts, reflections and learning points when I was penning down my reflections busily and happily in Starbucks in Dec 2013 (hmm...).  I can certainly identify with the "inner passions that never go away" part.  I have always wondered if God wants me to be a writer.  He hasn't made that crystal clear to me yet, or given me a confirmation I cannot second-guess .  But I recall what my ex-pastor and spiritual mentor said that even if I write it for me, to clarify my own thoughts on an issue, that would be valuable in itself.  So I am heeding his advice, and starting small and humbly.  Publishing a bestseller and achieving worldwide fame and glory can be something God decides to bestow on me later, or not!  Haha!

So, the second thing that happened was when my husband shared about his conversation with a missionary friend.  This guy told my husband about an intriguing concept - that there are three levels of giving we can achieve:

(i) Basic tithing - Where we give 10% to God, as mentioned in the Bible, or as another friend put it, we give 100% to God (since it all belongs to Him anyway) and He graciously gives us 90% to spend

(ii) We give beyond 10%, according to the faith He has given us, and we receive blessings manifold, sometimes even a hundredfold.  He told us the parable of the soil, about when you sow on good soil, you can reap a harvest that is thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what you sowed

(iii) We reach a state whereby the giving and receiving are happening simultaneously and seamlessly and endlessly, where we are giving to God as fast as we can but He is giving back even faster - proving the point that you cannot outgive God.  I smiled when I heard that - what a blessed state to be in!

I was challenged when I heard that about my personal life - the missionary said that this applies not just to money, but also our time, our energy, our talents.  How little of everything do I give to God!  And the missionary also said that there is a principle of the firstfruits - basically when you give the first and best portion of anything you have, you sanctify the rest of it.  So for example, if you give God your first paycheck, you sanctify the rest of your paychecks, or God will protect and bless it.  If you give God the first and best part of the day, you sanctify the rest of it.  And so on.  The example was how when Moses sacrificed Isaac, he sanctified the rest of the Jews.  When God sacrificed His firstborn Son, He sanctified the rest of mankind who believe in Jesus.  It is an interesting principle, and one which I cannot wait to test out!  This is also in line with what I know of God's character - that He is looking at our heart - are we fully surrendered to Him, are we willing to give Him everything.  And as a proxy of "everything", cos God isn't a sadist, He just knows what will give us maximum fulfillment in life, and that is not getting too attached to His gifts but He Himself, giving Him the first and best part of what we have is a good indication, or proof of our surrenderedness.  We could go a step further and give Him more than the first part, and I guess that is where the second and third states of giving kick in - you just simply cannot outgive God.  What a wonderful testimony such a life would be!  I must say it seems unwise to make this a formula to get rich, the intent seems to go against the fundamental objective of God, which is to wean us away from "the deceitfulness of wealth", but I do believe God can use and honour whatever baby steps we can take, simply because He knows we are dust and so fallible.

The last one was when I simply ran out of fiction books to read (I hadn't had time to browse for new books for myself from the library, and my library card is maxed out with books for my children), and so I went to my bookshelf and picked out this book called "Been There Done That", which is an exciting book about a local guy who became an OM missionary and travelled the world.  Several things stood out from the book:

At one point, he talked about how he was very shaken by two deaths he witnessed on the road as a missionary.  Being a young Christian, he was troubled about where he would go if he died that night, and God showed him Galations 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me".  The verse struck him like a tornado and he realised that his life was no longer his.  It belonged and still belongs to Jesus.  This resonated deep within me and struck me hard as well, I suppose because of its totality, its uncompromising nature.  It talks about the ownership of our life.  Who is the real owner of us?  Who calls the shots?  Who determines what we do with our time, our money, ourselves?  The world will say, well, it's us of course!  In fact, the whole self-help thing is about the self.  Advertising is all about pampering the self.  But here, God is saying, after believing in God, we no longer own ourselves.  We are His.  We are, in a way, dead to the world, as we are crucified with Christ.  These are deep concepts, which I shall need to mull over to fully digest what it means.  Clearly I am not dead.  I still feel hunger, thirst, needs, wants.  I still procrastinate and want to take the easy way out (e.g. entertain myself rather than write!).  And I do not think God expects us not to take care of ourselves or enjoy ourselves.  He is not a killjoy.  In fact, God is probably the best party-goer in the world, and the one who most fully enjoys life.  He knows how to have a good time.  The Bible says He holds "eternal pleasures" in His right hand.  But somehow, that is entwined with giving up.  It is a paradox and a mystery.  Perhaps it can only be experienced, not reasoned.