So I cooked spaghetti bolognese and cauliflower soup yesterday. Lessons learnt:
- If the cauliflower is the flowery type, load more onto the tray as the tips turn black very fast and put tray on lower deck. Can generally double the serving to have leftovers
- Do not use the tomato paste only as it has no taste and is too strong. Use tomato sauce or stewed tomatoes in cans.
- Do not add red wine. Doesn't really help
Prov 24:11-12
Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
12 If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,”
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?
What God Expects Us to Do - Judge Fairly
Prov 24:24-25
Whoever says to the guilty, “You are innocent,”
will be cursed by peoples and denounced by nations.
25 But it will go well with those who convict the guilty,
and rich blessing will come on them.
So I was dreading the hubby's birthday because I was way too busy at work to plan anything. The oil spill was all-consuming. He also did not know what he wanted me to get him.
But after a desperate prayer the night before, the day turned out to be much better than I thought. Some highlights:
- In the morning, after dropping off the second for his first DSA trial, we drove off and was thinking about where to eat breakfast when he said a friend of ours had asked him out for breakfast that morning and been asking him out for breakfast and game nights. I immediately said oh, why not. And he was very reluctant, saying he wanted to spend time with me. Me! Imagine that. After poo pooing that idea, I asked him to agree and so he called him. In a jiffy he had joined us in the car and we drove off to Thomson Plaza in search of breakfast. We decided on Kith, a semi-pricey breakfast place but which had very large coffees of which I approve. The chicken quesadillas were so-so. But that big mug of cappuccino was shiok.
We chatted about many things - from how his oldest boy 16 was interested in this 14 year old girl from church and her father was a deacon at church and both parents sat down and had a talk and set some ground rules: no alone time or dates, no communication on weekdays, only on weekends. Apparently she was the youngest with 2 older brothers and she was quite tomboy and quite caring.
The second boy is bonding with his fellow track and fielders in his school and having a great coach who teaches them about healthy eating and sleep and gives them a well-rounded exercise regime.
We talked about that game night his boss organises. And the funniest thing was when I commented that since primary school my boys' friends have been making dirty jokes and he laughed and laughed and was so beside himself and said between huffs that for time immemorial, boys have been like that, and for him, even at the age of 8...
He recommended us to Free Burma Rangers, some great Christian movie.
The some other highlights were: my second boy enjoying the creative writing lesson taught by teacher Jerry.
Cajun chicken pasta with carrot and broccoli, or with peppers
Haidilao soup packet with straw mushrooms, pork ribs, carrots, cabbage or celery, onions
Honeydew chicken soup
Shanghai pork ribs noodles
Roast chicken with root vegetables, which you can also shred and make into chicken mayo sandwiches
Bittergourd with egg (the very yummy salty umami/oyster sauce version I ate in Sabah Malaysia)
Stir fried leafy vegetables (any kind, do it well?)
Ma po tofu?
Baked sweet potato, beetroot, carrots, cauliflower
Stir fried sweet potato with cauliflower and carrot?
Cold seafood pasta (how my mum-in-law makes it)
Truffle oil kombu angelhair pasta (cold)
I would like to bake all kinds of bread
I shall start keeping a record of all the amazing one-liners that come to me always after the conversation is over:
SK: I took time off to spend with my mum, because she is getting old, and I want to travel with her.
Me: Oh is she well?
SK: Yes but she has this genetic disease where she is slowly going blind.
Me: Oh that's great that you are taking time off to spend with her. It's good.
What I should have said: Oh, you are a very filial son. I can see that. It's great that you are taking time off to spend with her while she is still alive. But what is even more important, is, where she is going after she dies. Do you know much about Christianity?
At SCIC dialogue, talking to a sweet old man who is a researcher in a Centre of Excellence. We were both big fans of nature, biomimicry, and raving about the immune system and his research thesis was on enzymes vs catalysts. I wanted to tell him, it's so marvellous, isn't it evidence of a Creator? How can any of this come from chance? But before I could do that, he said "But nature had millions of years! And we humans have only had a few thousands of years." I was tongue-tied and realised he was an evolutionist. What I should have said was, "Ah, but do you know the 2nd law of thermodynamics? How can this be true, that random motion produces greater and greater order - it would violate the 2nd law of thermodynamics!" I should also point him towards pregnancy, and delivery and even abortion.
When I was having lunch with S and L, and they asked me what advice I had to give to younger officers, I should have said, "And another advice is, we must do our best at work, since it takes up so much of our waking hours, and we have been gifted differently, and should use them to better society. It also gives us fulfillment. But at the end of day, should things just not go so well at work, as they sometimes do, we have to remind ourselves that work is just work. It does not define our self-worth, and our identity should be based on something else." [teaser for them to ask - so what should it be based on? And then I can explain the Christian world view, that God created each one of us, in His image, and He loves us dearly. So that is where we get our self-worth from]
As I was having lunch with J and GW and she suddenly rushed off to a colleague's father's wake and I found myself alone with GW, the person God has been putting a burden in my heart all year. After an animated time chatting about Marvel movies, I finally screwed up the courage to ask him if he went to the All Soul's Church I had told him about. He said no (I don't know what I was thinking, most likely he wouldn't have gone, not after 1 random text from me). I started telling him about the famous preacher there (John Scott?) who was 90 plus, and went on to say my husband attended that church, and he enjoyed it very much. Then I elaborated a bit more on American preachers Vs English ones. I kept waiting for him to ask me more but he didn't. Maybe cos he didn't know what to ask. So anyway, then we started talking about E, and he asked me if I spoke to her and I said yes. And I took the chance to tell him what I told her, but I guess it sounded so sagely he just nodded. He didn't ask me any follow on questions either. So I think I need to be more pointed. To sow the seeds.
After I say "But at the end of day, should things just not go so well at work, as they sometimes do, we have to remind ourselves that work is just work. It does not define our self-worth, and our identity should be based on something else", I should go on to tell him that, and "Do you know what is that something else?"
And go on to explain my revelation in University, except I need to elaborate on it further.
- Worked very hard for monthly tests. Get A, happy for a day, at most 3 days, and then back to the grind. Asked myself is that all there is to life? Work - reward ratio seems a bit skewed.
Then bumped into a Christian guy. He explained that we are here on earth to enjoy a relationship with God, who loves us very much. If we just believe in Jesus, we will have this relationship, and experience God's leading and help in our lives now. His Bible provides the blueprint for a full life, and ultimately we will be with Him in heaven. And ultimately, every bad thing will be punished. Gave me a good framework for dealing with everything in life.
In fact, ask me something.
We are made in God's image. God is very creative and God put us here on earth to work and to enjoy a close relationship with him. But cos of sin, work is now hard, and our relationship with God is broken. But through Jesus, we can be reconciled to God, we can talk to God every day and He replies us, and
I was chatting with 2 cell members over lunch after a training session on deliverance, at a coffee shop opposite church, when our conversation suddenly turned to how my 11-year old boy became so spiritually hungry. This is a source of great interest from many Christian parents I have encountered.
I have been wondering the same thing myself, and keep asking him "When did you suddenly become so interested in God?". He can't really remember himself. But I think this is what I remember:
It was around Feb/Mar 2023 period, when he suddenly slowed down a lot in his daily things. He took longer and longer to do his homework, to shower, to eat, to even brush his teeth, such that I remember sitting with him from 3pm until 10+pm to finish his homework! And he would do his work so slowly he left lots of questions blank (like the whole li2 jie3, half the speed math paper) when he took practice test papers. That was also a time when he would sit stoning, staring into space, looking mopey and sad. And he would act tortured when his siblings commented on him. I remember bringing him to watch Ant Man and Quantumania and instead of enjoying it he just put his head in his hands the whole time and curled up, like he was being tortured. And when I took him to Botanic Gardens, he would walk far behind us and have a long face the whole time, like he wasn't having any fun. When I looked at his work, I saw how many times he cancelled out what he wrote, and wrote the same thing after that. It was like some mental issue. He also wasn't eating. And after many night talks with him, I realised:
- He said often he didn't know if he was sinning (maybe it was him listening to my teaching on holiness on 4 Mar)
- He didn't know what to do next, like whether it was God's will, but on further asking, it was little things like should he do this piece of homework now and that piece of homework. It was analysis by paralysis.
- I remember at one point, he was scared that he would encounter the end times, cos of some lady who came to buy Sylvanian family figurines from me, and she said her pastor said it was very soon now.
At some point, Commandant Catherine told me (when I told her about my boy's problem), that as a parent, an authoritative figure, I had to take control and pray for my child. So me and Ben went into a room and took authority and prayed for him. He became better after that!
Slowly, he even smiled and laughed at things, and eventually, he became his usual jokey self, laughing really hard at jokes. I recall when he was at his low point, his brother showed a video of him filming himself and being a real goofy show-and-tell person, and he was such a far cry from it. He is now more relaxed, and enjoys talking to people, but hasn't quite regained his old comedic self.
But instead, as he came out of his funk, it was replaced by this deep desire to read the Bible and love of Bible study. He would harrass me to do Bible Study with them, and he loved hearing me read the Bible in a dramatic voice, and after that he would always ask me, "so what's the lesson?" or "so what's the key takeaway", or "what does this mean?". And I would have to explain it, and if I succeeded, he woudl smile and say it was a good Bible study and go to sleep happy.
He loved to attend cell group, and after church camp, where he hated for it to end and even got a "Best Camper" award, and wanted to start his own cell group, and become a pastor, his love for cell group and all things church became a full-blown mania or love affair. To the point now, he loves Sundays, especially when my husband would be doing Bible study with his cousin (my boy would be the first person sitting there listening attentively with his Bible), or to come to any training sessions on Christian things with me.
Many Christians have asked me, how did I raise up such a godly boy, and I wish I could say it was from his observations of his role model (who is his mummy), and it is from him seeing me do my quiet time daily, kneeling at my bed, or praying aloud earnestly whenever I encountered difficulties, but it is not. My quiet times are sketchy and irregular, and far from my ideal state (which from the book I read, is to spend at least 1.5 hours daily in worship, Word, listening, prayer and journalling, in a secret closet), and at times I break into sporadic 40-day prayers for people (more on that later), when I am burdened or convicted to do so, although I sometimes lose steam, especially when I am doing it alone. Sometimes I come back from a high (e.g. my Cambodia mission trip) and do my extended quiet times (e.g. 1 hour a day) quite regularly for a while, only to lose steam again and go back to guerrilla-style QTs. I do not talk about God much in my daily life outside of church, and I hardly spout verses, and the only spiritual example I set them is in my regular, non-negotiable attendance of church and conducting of cell groups. Also, the spiritual instruction I have been giving them is sporadic Bible studies, which me or my husband conducts, and we try to go through a gospel, although now we are skipping around some epistles as well, and what is useful is I read a short passage and then we discuss how to interpret it and the right applications for our lives. I find this a useful girding of biblical perspectives and understanding of what God expects out of us, in living out the Christian faith. I also get the sense my kids don't take salvation for granted, judging by the number of times they ask me "how do I know I am saved?" and moaning that they don't think they are, and my eldest even often wishing he was a dog, "cos all dogs go to heaven". I had to explain the salvation thing to them over and over again.
The interesting thing which is a major Thanksgiving is that my oldest boy is somehow quite gifted in evangelism, or it comes easily/naturally to him, through his chatty friendships (he is a chatty boy), and he claims he has converted or led to Christ 2 of his friends! This is so amazing to me. My second boy who is the "holy" one who wants to be a pastor, instead keeps asking me to pray for him to be able to evangelise, but he is the one who tries but scares his friends away, by talking about hell and stuff (the strange thing is my oldest boy did share about how someone died and saw these evil spirits and his friends instead were so scared they believed). So while my oldest boy is not as spiritually keen and crazy like my second, in that he still likes reading his children's books like Roald Dahl, Harry Potter, Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, and has other hobbies like playing computer games and soccer, he is also now quite willing to go to Sunday School, he raises his hands when he worships with me (no kidding), and doesn't try to escape at the last minute from Sunday School so I have to chase him all around the church or play hide and seek with him to catch him and force him into his Sunday school class (the things my kids make me do...). My second boy has no interest other than watching Christian movies, reading Christian books, attending Christian events and Bible study. Ahem... Yes. How did I get a boy like that? To the point when one of the ladies in the training session turned around and spoke to him after the first class and said when she laid eyes on him, the word "Special" came into her mind, and she just wanted to tell him he is very special in God's eyes and God is very pleased with him. If only he would develop some other hobbies and eat more. At this young age, he is also learning not to judge other people so easily, which kids are prone to do when they get it into their heads that something is right and wrong.
So, I wonder, how did all this happen? Well, I have no clear answers, but I like to think that my feeble attempts to set up a personal spiritual altar some years ago after reading the John Mulinde book, in my home helped kick-start things (I recall a few nights or early mornings, I woke up and did my prayer session at the second balcony, playing worship songs on my hp), and we had one or two attempts to do a family worship/Bible study/prayer session on a Sun night, and we have been doing nightly prayers regularly (which are quite extended, we use them to pray for other people too), and occasional Bible studies, spurred by my second boy's insatiable appetite for spiritual feeding and prayer. He wanders into my walk-in wardrobe when I'm doing my quiet time and asks me what am I doing, and when I tell him, he promptly sits down next to me, plonks down his own Bible and notebook and wants to imitate me and learn how I do it. My kids like a formulaic prayer, whereby we always start with confession, and then prayer requests. But it is like this verse shared at the Daniel Fellowship event from Leviticus 6:12 "The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out". And I feel that as long as we were keeping the home altar going, with my individual prayer times, my husband's, us praying as a small group of 2 or 3 nightly (me and my 2 boys, sometimes with my girl as well), the prayer altar was kept burning, and this slowly changed the spiritual atmosphere in my home.
Anyway, I have a lot to thank God for. Spiritual change in kids is not to be taken for granted and is hard to come by, judging from what a colleague told me from his observations of his cell members who are parents, and from my husband's friends' sharing, who are pastors' wives. And I really should have more faith in this PSLE at the end of the year. God will deliver me (I mean my boy) and show Himself strong and faithful. He always does. And I may then ask myself "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?", like what my mentor texted me one night. And even if the results are not what the world thinks of as a happy ending, I know that all things work for the good of those who love Him, and who have been called according to His purpose. Amen.
So after intense studying at home for about a week during the June holidays, we all developed hay fever and my husband and I decided to bring the kids to the newly opened Bird Paradise at Mandai, next to the zoo and River Safari (not that anyone can visit all three or even two attractions in one day, but I suppose this makes for some economies of scale in things like waste treatment or something). My whole family looked forward to this visit primarily my eldest boy is bird-crazy and hence we have been taking care of two sun conure parrots for the past year. They have brought us us endless joy, and also ringing eardrum, scratched up arms and nibbled and half destroyed electronic equipment (their favourite is the red navigation button in the middle of the keyboard and chewing on the top of the laptop). So when I read about the cockatoos tearing up signages and biting girl’s ear, I just chuckle and know it’s natural bird behaviour.
So we woke up bright and early (even my youngest who cheerfully told the helper to keep her uniform because she wasn’t going to school today) and to my surprise, my husband also got quite involved in getting the kids showered and making them breakfast (as he is usually very edgy about us being on time whenever we meet his parents).
Then we drove to Mandai, while listening to Evanescence (wake me up) cos my husband felt like he needed that and then the Wonder Woman 1984 soundtrack, which is epic and Olympic-sounding and also sounded strangely like the atmospheric music of a theme park when he turned into the carpark. The theme song ended just as he parked, which made us all laugh.
We had a good time walking up to the entrance where they put some features along the way like a gigantic bird nest with eggs, and some orchid display. Then we reached and I was reading this big display showcasing the history of Jurong Bird Park turning into Bird Paradise when I was shooed to enter the attraction cos my in laws and sister in law were already inside. This was a sign of the things to come during the entire day. They would walk through the exhibits quite fast and then wait for me. And I was always straggling at the back cos I would read all the panels explaining birds to be found in that aviary and also interesting things about plants and trees. For example, did you know that fires in Australia are nature’s way of dispersing certain seeds? And that they also hollow out some trees for birds to nest in. And that the the albatross has a way of soaring called dynamic soaring where they do not flap their wings for long distances, and which scientists are still studying. So interesting!
The first exhibit we went into was the penguin cove, and it was so fun to watch the penguins waddle with their flippers outstretched, they look like they are trying to walk without getting their feet wet. And they squeeze out bubbles from their feathers when they are underwater to triple their speed, and they are shaped like torpedos, and they can shoot out of water 3m to land on land! We had great fun there.
Then we went into crimson wetlands where the flamingoes were there, but the real highlight for us was the parrots - scarlet macaws and sun conures. It was breathtaking to see the macaws flying round the high-domed aviary, to perch on some limestone walls, to the sound of rushing water at a waterfall, and sometimes they fly around a few times. I almost feel they should play movie-like music in the background. They have very majestic flying pattern and it brought a lump to my throat, that this is what they were created to do. A far cry from those solo creatures I see at HDB decks, chained to a stand, bored out of their minds, many times slightly hostile, usually owned by some pot-bellied uncle who claims to be a ‘bird lover’.
Then we spotted one sun conure in a tree who took off in flight, and he was joined by a flock of sun conures flying to another tree! We screamed in delight as I saw they had that same slight zigzag pattern in flying as my parrots, except mine zigzag even more wildly around the room when we set them free. Then we spotted 4 or more sitting on a branch, while 2 were in front. They really live in a flock. And it was a joy to hear their trademark screeches in the wild, though not as ear-piercing.
Then we went to watch a very enjoyable Predators on Wings show, where we learnt of the important role vultures play, as the ‘clean-up crew’ of the safari in Africa. Without them, we would have a big problem of carrion on our hands. We also learnt that loss of habitat and poaching/killing has reduced a lot of these predators in the wild. So sad…again, I emphasise that there is something so freeing and liberating to see a parrot free fly across an expanse.
Then we went for lunch and then went to see some other exhibits but it got way too hot, and I think all the birds went to hide. There were a lot fewer of them flying around and we kept escaping into the aircon sections to read more panels, exhibits and watch videos. What I realised is in an aviary, it is a lot harder to spot the birds, compared to when they are in cages, but it’s a lot more gratifying to spot them perching in trees and coming to feed. Later we were discussing in the car that the new Bird Paradise is more humane and better for birds but worse for visitors because we see less birds overall (unless you are a really good bird watcher). There also seem to be less birds in the Lory Loft compared to the Jurong Bird Park. I wonder what happened to a lot of them.
I think they should plant more shady trees so the walkways mimick those treetop walks (which don't feel so hot due to the shade) or have some shaded trellises along the walkways so that it is not so hot to walk within it. The birds also need the shade. Or at the least, give some umbrella hats that the visitors can take from some stand and put o themselves while they ogle the birds, then return at the end of the walkway when they exit. That would not cost too much at all in terms of capital costs and would help visitors have a better experience.
The other thing which was rather unpleasant was the railings seemed to be sending electric shocks when you touched it at certain enclosures. It got to us becoming very paranoid about wandering too close to the railings or touching one another.
I liked reading about the conservation efforts and of birds (especially parrots, songbirds) being caught in large numbers in the wild such that they became endangered. It made me angry, that the seemingly 'harmless' actions of man in cities like getting a pet could cause so much harm to nature and the ecosystem. We need more education and awareness and more humane ways to keep pets.
I also felt that the entrance ticket cost so much more than Jurong Bird Park, and it could be partially due to the air-conditioned spaces within, which are interspersed liberally within Bird Paradise and actually provide much needed respite from the scorching heat. But somehow the JBP didn't have them and we didn't feel the need for it as much as well. Perhaps it had more shade and shady trees. Maybe it's to recoup the cost of building this whole thing.
I just feel that they need utilise cleverer designs to make the enclosures a good experience for humans and birds alike, and while keeping costs low. That would necessitate using nature or learning from nature, probably. More plants and trees and water bodies, and/or biomimicry.
I am always amazed at the many functions plants and trees provide for us. I think we owe it to the plant kingdom to make the earth liveable and pleasant to a great extent.
I was also feeling quite sad at all the habitat loss around the world. I think the least I can do is to live simply, with just a few key belongings, and to eat less meat/fish. And eat more local stuff. Which all helps produce less greenhouse gas emissions, and potentially helping to keep global warming in check, which is causing penguins to need to hunt further and further away from their ice floes due to climate change and overfishing. God help us.
