The Power of Worship

I have been following the US elections and I must say today, on the 7th of November 2020, when Joe Biden was announced US president, I felt sickened in my stomach and unbearably blue (pun unintended).  I felt like America would be headed for more liberal, whitewashed policies, more chaos, more oppression, more inequality, more lies and deception and just felt like weeping for America.  I felt I had let someone down - maybe I didn't pray enough, I should have fasted, and the news media seemed intent on not reporting Trump's version of the story aside from brief mention of his claims and always with the words ‘unsubstantiated’ or ‘without evidence’. I do see evidence hinting at election tampering in other websites and I’m not sure why the news outlets don’t profile it.  I wonder if certain key officials in the swing States and media outlets are all in collusion with the democrats...

And then I remembered this opening chapter of a book I was reading yesterday while I was taking a rare moment to sit down in a nice cafe environment (Dig Restaurant at Bishan Library) with both of my boys, our stroller laden with books, books, books!  And both of them were digging (haha, another pun cos of the cafe we were in) into their books with gusto, my oldest a block of a tome from the Adult section called "Battles That Changed History", and the younger one this graphically explosive book called "Escape from Planet Alcatraz"by Michael Dahl (no prizes for guessing how we came to stumble upon this unknown series).   And for me, after ordering 2 pastas and a beloved mocha for myself and an oreo milkshake for the boys, I sank into my seat and pulled out a brand new book which I found lying in my husband's car boot, given to him by friend so long ago that he couldn't even remember who gave it to him, called "Attack Lambs".  It was just the kind of book I loved.

So as I was cracking open the initial pages (my favourite part of reading any beloved book!) and reading it, while sipping my mocha, I stumbled upon these words which seared into my brain:

"All successful spiritual endeavour comes forth from an attitude of worship.  Why?  Because as worship focuses us on the Lord, it brings clarity.  This clarity causes us to see the affairs of this life for what they are.  It releases us to see that we are seated in heavenly places in Christ, with Him at the right hand of the Father.  We can see that the blood of Jesus has set up free from the presence and power of the Enemy (Hebrews 9:12)"

This is a timely reminder to my soul, when I am feeling so down, so helpless, so fearful.  We need to return to an attitude of worship and continue to pray, pray for America and the truth to be revealed and for all lies and deception to be exposed plain as day.  

I have also been reading Joshua 3 to 6 last Fri, and one of the key takeaways I had from the passage, a fresh insight, was that somehow God uses very unconventional methods to gain victories, e.g. He asked the Israelites to circumcise all the males while they were camped outside Jerico, which would have rendered them in pain and vulnerable for days. But they did it anyway.  And when they approached the walls of Jerico, what did God ask them to do? March around the walls for 6 days and not do anything except blow the trumpets.  It is almost like they were asked to worship for 6 days and on the 7th day, worship 7 times as long, and then give a shout.  And what do you know, without them even lifting a sword or a battering ram, the walls came crumbling down.  From worship.  And obedience.  And setting apart (circumcision). So I feel the power of worship is often underestimated in our society today where it seems like just something we do in church, before we get to the sermon proper, and just singing a few songs. Not linked really to victorious living or Spirit-filled loves.  Or even Spiritual warfare.  But it is. It is a powerful way to connect to the power of the Living God.  Like Attack Lambs said, it is an uplink and a downlink at the same time. It is a great way to recharge ourselves, to increase our spiritual ‘health’, to give us the energy and the boldness to continue being different, to even give us divine wisdom for living (how many times have I felt an insight downloaded about a problem when I was worshipping?). 

I have accumulated a playlist of powerful and uplifting worship songs which I think I ought to download into my phone and play it when I’m feeling down.... Perhaps that is something I should do next.

Designing Your Home - Having a Space of Your Own

I am a big believer in having a corner for yourself in your home.  I think everyone needs such a space where they can place objects that are dear to them, that they can place things which they use often, which they can decorate any way they want, and a corner to pursue their own hobbies, be it writing, crafting, building or making something, listening to music, basically doing what they like, and be by themselves and be undisturbed and comfortable.  There are so many homes where each member of the household does not have such a corner but make use of communal spaces to do this.  I think communal spaces are great, as they serve a purpose well, and are also the spaces where we interact with one another, other family members.  These are spaces like the living room, kitchen, dining areas, etc.  But at the same time, I think each person also has a deep need for a space of their own, where they can be by themselves and recuperate and recharge and mull over things. 

I think this will help us to live more purposeful lives, and also lead more balanced lives.  With deep reflection and alone time, we can be even more energetic and boisterous and directed in our outside life.  Gosh, this is firing me up.  I have been walking around my house and just cannot find such a space for myself.  I can tell my husband uses his side of the bed for this.  He is often found there in the home when he is not busy with kids or work.  I need such a space where I can put my notebooks, stationery, a Bible and some key books, a laptop or handphone to play music, a surface of a nice height to write on, with adequate lighting.  Hopefully this place also has a view, is not too sunny, and is comfortable for me to sit for long hours....  The difficulty is in finding such a place in my home that has not been claimed by my kids, or my mum for communal study areas, personal areas or play areas. 

After much walking around the home, praying for divine guidance and trying out different corners and surfaces (e.g. balcony, family room, last room, living room, bedroom walk-in wardrobe), none of them worked and this is the final area I settled upon - the space next to my bed and which used to be occupied by the baby cot.  This is my "table of my own" and also my prayer altar.  I will use it to worship, read the Word, pray and journal my thoughts and prayers.  Mainly write.  

  

Exciting and Satisfying Work

Now, this may sound strange, but I have recently experienced some very exhilarating times at work, and I have realised they come together with handling very difficult issues.  Yes, basically when I have a hard time or am facing a seemingly insurmountable or daunting problem, my heart starts pumping faster, my stomach clenches, my adrenaline flows, I don't feel fatigue at all even when I work long hours, and I sort of lose my appetite almost so I end up working into mealtimes without realising it.

And the feeling after a hard slog, and finally cracking the intractable complicated issue, untangling a knotty problem, or cutting through the thick fog of technical jargon to distill out the essence of the issue and present it in crystal clear, simple, correctly nuanced arguments, is immensely, deeply satisfying to me. 

Ok, so recently there have been 3 issues, which gave me that satisfying feeling.  First is an appeal, the second is a radiation-related issue, and the third is a response to a big boss on an issue of a trial.

Now, on the appeal, gosh there were so many twists and turns, and it was such a long-drawn drama, it could become a case study in itself!  Yes in fact I think I will write a short story just to make it funny and to remember what went on.  But most recently, my policy department haggled back and forth with an operational department on a reply to a big boss on  this appeal, in particular on some technical issue which he asked us to sort out, and both sides edited the reply to death.  We would craft it more in our favour and they would edit it further to highlight points in their favour - after 3 to 4 rounds of this, going late into Friday night and spilling over into Saturday morning, we finally ended up with a very carefully nuanced, finely balanced reply, where every word has been argued over and agreed and is so loaded with meaning behind it... I am very proud of our reply actually - proud of the final reply and proud of actually getting the other department to agree to it!  The trick is to limit our edits to highlighting facts which they cannot dispute, but the facts are actually in our favour.  The moment we add arguments, they would disagree.

This appeal also resulted in me staying up late at night after the kids have gone to bed, booting up my computer, pen and paper in hand, and trying to check the calculations of the operational department, which involved reading some technical document and following their formulae, and plugging in various coefficients which had their own formulae.  It was like solving algebra, and it was something which I had not done in so long and which I really relished!  And another day, my officer actually came up with an excel spreadsheet which was so beautiful, and he could generate a chart which was the holy grail that we were trying to find out from the Japanese, and it was absolutely thrilling to see him talk to himself "oh, I forgot to account for acceleration and deceleration", and he would go into certain cells, update the formulae, and press enter, and the graph would update itself and he would say "ok, now it's correct".  This is a sign of a true excel whizz.

What I learnt about myself through these few weeks, handling all these tricksy issues, is that I am someone who loves a good mental challenge.  I refuse to let something which seems awfully technical deter me, and will plunge headlong into it and try to figure it out. And when I do, and can argue my case with the best of them, men who have spent years of their life on this issue, I feel a sense of deep satisfaction and achievement.  And we gain mutual respect for each other.  And I feel the issue becomes clear as day and I know what to do.  It's a great feeling really.  I hope everyone feels the same way when we face problems at work - resolving them is super satisfying!!!

Praying with Wrong Motives

I was experiencing a very unsettling feeling. I had just approved a submission proposing to reject an appeal. Although I initially wanted to accede to it, we had concluded after much internal discussion that rejecting it was the legally more defensible position to take. 

But when we put it up, a very astute boss at the next level asked us to try to find out one more detail from the overseas authorities to back up one of our statements. We agreed to do so even though we felt the overseas authority would not reply in time, and to our surprise they did!  And from the surface looks of it (we are still trying to decipher a lot of technical charts and explanations they gave us), it looks like we may have to reverse our position...

Now this is a mortifying position to be in for a policy department, to put up something which later you realise or your bosses point out is actually the wrong position.  I mean, correction of English, better nuancing, reorganisation of arguments, I can handle, but to have to reverse your recommendation, is like being told you are doing your job entirely wrong. My first reaction was to pray that in dissecting their replies we would be proven right, that we should still reject their appeal.

However, it so happened my QT today was on James 4:1-4 'What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.'

I certainly identify with the' desires that battle within you' part - I dearly desired to be proven correct because to be proven otherwise would be bad for the reputation of my policy outfit and for me as well. The part on quarreling and fighting, I felt like I was quarreling with myself and trying to find arguments so that I should be right. But I was quite convicted by the end, that I had to pray for the right and best outcome to be achieved because that is the right thing to do, and not to pray to save my own face. Because to pray like that would be to 'ask with the wrong motives'. 

In fact I was reminded that my prayer just before our discussion with the bosses was that we would collectively come to the best outcome, although I had not anticipated that this would mean having to eat humble pie! 

Now I have to come to terms with the fact that we may have to go back to tell them we are reversing our position, and to be ok with that, because if I didn't have to care about my own reputation and career, that would be what I would gladly do.  Perhaps I should pray for courage, moral courage to do what's right, to seek to please God only and not man, and to do what seems painful as an offering to God, a living sacrifice. 

I am always surprised at how the Word of God always comes in a timely manner to remind me.... 

The Best Online Children Christian Service

One of the good things that came out of this Covid situation is my discovery of Treasure Box, this wonderful online children's service that is much much better than the children's service at my church. After watching 6 episodes or so, my kids now look forward to watching it on Sundays rather than groan and run away from us when we reach church. And I will always remember the first 1 - 2 episodes when all 3 of them bowed their heads and said the sinners' prayer together. It was a sight to warm a mother's heart for sure.  

I also really love the episodes where Uncle Elvin and Auntie Esther play act very funny scenarios to illustrate the lesson of the day, be it Uncle Elvin not sharing his wang wang biscuits or sharing in a very stingy way, or their funny games making the kids turn left or right while closing their eyes to show the importance of paying attention, either to the sermon or the Holy Spirit. Anyway it's great fun. I also remember them trying to walk through a Liberal sprinkling of powder without getting any on their feet, to show how hard it is to go through life without sin, and the kids loved how he went around 'shooting' love at his family members. They are really inspired in their lessons and their acting (especially Uncle Elvin's) is a joy, as he has a naturally warm and genial face that can take on a lot of expressions realistically (shocked, sly, sad, happy, etc). I also love their mission statement, which is to rebuild family altars throughout the land, and help parents bring up children in the Lord. Oh so needful!!!

I also realised for kids, it's probably better to have a topic that will relate to them (like what is sin, what does love look like, why they should obey authorities), and teach them bible verses on it, with relatable and poignant illustrations, rather than just going through bible stories and trying to draw some overly general or cheem lesson through it. My kids usually can't articulate what they learnt in Sunday school but for Treasure Box, even I can remind them of the lesson the rest of the week because the lesson is so memorable.

I love how the Treasure Box services really break down the lesson to a very applicable action they want the kids to do the rest of the week, or to make something meaningful that will impact their week or their life at home or change the way they view something. Their relatability and application to the Singaporean or modern day living context is top notch.

A very wonderful resource for all parents who want their kids to effectively learn Christian principles and values!

What Makes You Happy?

I decided to write down all the things that make me happy, as I aspire to feel happy every day.

Let's see:

• A really strong cup of tea (e.g. Hong Kong milk tea) or coffee (e.g. Starbucks coffee) and something that goes with it (e.g. egg onion roti prata, a muffin, kaya toast, some digestives) 
• Cooking a meal that is cheap, healthy, fast, which uses up leftovers and soon-to-spoil vegetables in my fridge and gets lots of vegetables into my family as it is an economical way to feed the family, minimises food waste, and is healthy to consume as opposed to all the meat and junk we eat out there
• Watching a really well-made movie or reading a well-written book
• Laughing hard at a joke
• Sharing jokes with others and making them laugh
• Journalling my thoughts and insights about the world and about life
• Preparing for cell group, as I often gain so much insights from preparing it
• Walking in a park or garden and soaking in nature, with a little exercise thrown in
• Crafting a really good, elegant and crisp submission or persuasive deck of slides
• Having a good yak with good friends

From reading "Grit" by Angela Duckworth, I also realised the importance of having an overarching mission statement for my life, as that will help me evaluate every opportunity and activity that presents itself and to prioritise them accordingly.  I am quite an organised, purposeful sort of person and this appeals to me.  So here goes, my attempt at crafting my mission statement:

It must have humour.  It must include the shedding of insights and clarity.  It must include living the full life, one that does not make us a slave of anything, but of strength and purpose and good feelings and radical obedience to Jesus Christ. It should include the use of words, since a good friend once commented that I seem to have an apt way of describing something, and I know from experience that when I just let my words flow, through a stream of consciousness, without censoring, those are my very best writing.  So I should not let it go to waste, this ability of mine.  

To share insights and humour with others so as to provide clarity and good feelings, and to promote a life of purpose, freedom and radical obedience to Jesus Christ.

Designing a Bright Home - Lighting issues

In designing a nice home, the right lighting gives it a warm and cosy feel.  You want the home to be nicely bright, especially for areas where you expect to be conducting detailed work like cooking, working, studying, reading and writing, and just hanging out, but dimmer light for watching TV, handphones and just lounging around.  Warm light is also better than cold light for dining, to illuminate the food better. 

Some tips on lighting - there is a hierarchy when it comes to it.  Natural light is better than artificial light.  That is because we as humans tend to gravitate towards natural light and it also uses no energy at all, it's absolutely free of charge.  Being in natural light makes us feel good, and we probably get a bit of Vitamin D too. So you want to be able to harness it.

For sunlight, indirect is better.  That is because direct sunlight, which is what you get when you have a east or west-facing wall and the sun is shining at your face or back, is very hot and irritating.  The best indirect natural light will be found in spots in the home which are south-facing and near the window.  If you have such spots in the house, bingo!  Situate a beloved activity there, if it is reading, make a sitting area there; if it is studying, put your study table there. North facing spots also give natural light but tend to be a bit darker.  

Place your lighting as close as possible to where you will be conducting your activities.  For example, a desk lamp uses less energy than a light on the ceiling.  Spotlights give a warm glow and if directed at an angle, can be very bright but not glaring, and you can also hang them close to where you are, and not place them up at the ceiling.  Dimmable lights give you additional flexibility on how bright the space gets, which can be great when you want to dim the lights for a movie night and not watch in utter darkness.

Lights shone against the walls or surfaces reflect off a larger surface and can light up more parts of the room in a gentle way, for a more aesthetic look which works as long as you are not doing detailed work.