To buy or not to buy

My kids have always had a problem of badgering us for toys.  First it was Thomas the train, then it was Star Wars, and then Pokémon, sea creatures, dinosaurs for a brief spell, and now star-wars or superhero-themed legos.  Initially we succumbed to their badgering, mostly because we were relatively inexperienced parents with still ample shelf space then, not knowing how quickly kids fall out of love with certain toys.  Anyway it soon resulted in an overflow of seemingly similar toys with very slight differences only my oldest high-D high C (DISC test) can tell.  A typical conversation goes like this:

Hao En: Mummy mummy! I show you! I want to buy this lego x-wing micro fighter (waving a handphone he inevitably swiped from me or my hubby in front of me)

Me: Huh? But you already have an x-wing lego! Your papa bought you one, remember?

Hao En: Nooo... this one is different. The laser cannons are a circle! See see?

Me: (peering at the screen, seeing something that looks exactly like this $35 toy lego we bought him ) It looks the same to me! What are you talking about (going back to what I was doing)

Hao En: No! It's the laser cannons! Mine is half a circle! It's not like the real one! The real one is a round cannon!

Me: (looking again really closely) Oh... Aiya very close to what you have already, I'm not buying you another one.

Hao En: But the real X-wing is like this! I want the real X-wing!  It has the circle laser cannon!

Me: What circle laser cannon? Show me.

(He immediately runs to a toy box he has and brings it)

Hao En: See (jabbing his finger at the picture of an X-wing shooting at the enemy. The cannons are indeed round)

Me: Oh... I see... ok (grudgingly and also secretly impressed that he was actually correct and could tell such minute details).  Aiya it's the same la (with less conviction). 

Hao En: It's not the same! The real one is round! I want a round cannon!

Me: How much is it?

His OCD nature extends beyond the shape of the cannons, but even to lines found on the body and wings.  He can tell when one out of the 4 cannons is missing (even for his tiny metal X-wing - yes he has many versions of X-wings), when the red line has faded, when one has a certain line and another doesn't.  This led to him applying liquid paper and red markers to his big automated $200 X-Wing until it was virtually unrecognisable.

Anyway, over time, we wisened up and ended up only buying toys that they can use in many ways or they can use outdoors, such as lego, colour pencils and kiddie bicycles.  We were also running out of shelf space at that point.  

Recently, they got it into their heads to build a "house" which comprised any small space surrounded on all sides (including the top) by pillows and blankets.  Each made their own house using the multitude of pillows and blankets of all sizes we had somehow accumulated as the household expanded.  Sometimes they used the cot, sometimes just on the mattress on the floor.  Then after building their own, they fought to enter it and to prevent it from falling down.  Tears and fights will ensue as someone inevitably gets left out as the house is too small, and/or parts of the house start falling over, leading to adult intervention.  Initially I tried helping them repair their houses, and then helping them build bigger or sturdier houses ("see? Mummy is an engineer. I fix problems").  Later, I gave up and left them to sort it out themselves.  But what it meant was that they could sometimes be left for hours in the bedroom with the aircon on, playing "house" and being totally occupied. There was negotiating, whining, gloating, and physical pushing and kicking.  Some kids fell off the bed a few times.

Recently my dad told me he wanted to buy a small tent for the kids to play house in, so he would no longer have to build any houses for them.  I immediately told him it was a bad idea, because I had visited a friend's house during his children's birthday party, and they happened to have a big IKEA children's tent in the living room.  However after excitedly crawling in and sitting in there, and inviting my kid to come in too, we quickly realised there was not much to do in the tent, and we crawled out.  Somehow, the fact that the tent was so nice and sturdy robbed us of the creativity and mental and physical effort of building something and then yes, realising it has its limitations and trying to repair it.

From a purely selfish point of view, I told him we would have more peace if we didn't buy the tent so the kids just had more to do.  And I think this is a cute lesson I learnt - sometimes having to live with certain constraints is more fun than solving everything with something store bought and ready-made :).  

Hanging out with My Relatives

Today I accompanied my mum (against my and hubby's wishes) to be present at the installation of ling2wei4 for my grandma and grandpa at a columbarium, together with my Cousin, her dad and my Uncle.  Strangely, though these things encroach upon our days like an unwelcome sore or virus, I feel good doing it later.  Perhaps it is the chance to meet up with my relatives once again, people who featured a bigger part of my life when I was young, and whom I hardly meet nowadays.  It is nice to hear their voice, see their facial expressions (and realise with a start how much they resemble their sibling or parents).  It was also nice to hear my mum and uncles talking in their Teochew dialect, either commenting on what food is good in that particular Hawker centre, or which game they are playing on their Hp (candy crush, jackpot).  

We talked about how TV was really quite bad for kids ("they don't have to think" says my Cousin ominously), the hassle of cooking vs ease of eating out, how she juggled work and family ("I told my boss clearly for me, family is number one") and the rising infertility ("I think it's the conditioning of the body.  When you tell your body I don't want kids for too long, it actually responds, perhaps by releasing less hormones etc").  

My Cousin has a very clear and distinct and authoritative voice and it is fun to pick her brains about all sorts of topics.  She talked about her views on bosses ("it is ok to be promoted early if he is talented. But the key factor is whether they are doing it for the good of the country or for something else, eg to show off, prove themselves, spending a bomb in the process").  She also said "IT is never cheap" when I talked about our mistake transiting from excel to an IT system.  I also looked at their lined faces, sometimes smiling, sometimes coughing, and wondered about the mortality of us all.  I Guess looking at altars of deceased can make you think like that.  Death does not seem like such a bad thing.  It's rather peaceful I must say.  

A dream

Last night I dreamt that I was posted to my dream job in my old agency.  I was in charge of all non-Ionising radiation and setting standards and protecting the public against it.  Woohoo!  The reason who I'm so excited to be doing it is because deep down I have a suspicion that all the rise in cancer cases, mental illnesses, children with Behavioural issues and Infertility in our society is in large part due to our ever increasing, constant exposure to radiation, be it watching videos or playing games or often surfing web on our handphones. We also carry them wh us on our bodies more and more,such that they are like an appendage we cannot live without.  Sigh very bad.

The best things in life

Recently I have started Cycling to the MRT again.  It could be the December weather, making for a more pleasant, windy, less smog-ridden ride (not that Singapore is ever that smoggy), or the fact that I had been seeing/hearing/reading about the benefits of Cycling again from the most unlikely places (eg when I meet healthy-looking, vigorous, clear-skinned people from Cycling associations or interest groups, or when I read about the higher workout of Cycling compared to Basketball, burning the stress away in a Robin Cook book, or when I lay in bed a night trying to sleep but feel this 'stuck' feeling in my chest). Anyway, I finally found the time to wheel my bike to the nearest petrol station and got the tires inflated again as they got flat sitting at a bike rack for too Long, and now the ride is incredibly smooth and bouncy.

Anyway, one day I had brought my toddler girl on a ride with me in the early morning to exercise, and I decided on a whim to try another route back.  I have been rather unhappy with my route to MRT as it is all along roads which have moderate to heavy traffic, and the ride back is especially bad when I come back feeling like my nasal passages and face are covered in grime. I had been hoping to find a shortcut that would cut through HDB estates more, to bring me away from traffic, since lining the paths with man-height bushes to keep pollution at Bay seems not to be a priority amongst the government agencies involved.  This time, I decided to try another route back, going along a PCN that runs along the MRT viaduct, even though the last time I tried it, I got hopelessly lost and it took me much longer  to get back.  To my surprise, I found that it was relatively easy to cycle back on this new route, and though half the journey is still along a major road, it doesn't feel that bad (may be the weather and time of year, may be the airflow in that area due to its layout and design), and half of the route is along this very pleasant wide PCN that is next to gardens, trees and residential estates.  Dream!!!  I am much happier now using this route and last night and this morning, when I was feeling rather burdened from some happenings at work (seem to be a common occurrence nowadays), I found the wide open expanse, the clean air and the autonomy of moving swiftly on a bike and exercising my body, invigorating.  And I played Justin Bieber's Love Yourself song on my phone as I rode and calmed myself somewhat.  This is something I hope to impart to my kids in the future - the ability to swim and cycle.  

That got me thinking - you see, life's problems at work are often about getting recognition and respect from bosses, peers, getting ahead in life, but then, I am already quite comfortable where I am (I concluded from observing my Dir that I'm not ready to be a Dir, not at least for a Long Loong time) and I am earning a good salary.  Why do I try so hard?  Why am I so bothered when I don't appear to live up to my own expectations of performance?  I should always try my best, and if it isn't enough, if I care simply about my trade and doing it well for the benefit of Singaporeans all over, and about God and winning His approval, I should know my failings, want to do better, but not feel so beat up about it, you know?  And if the things that bring me joy are things like taking a bike ride at the start or end of the day, feeling lithe and limber as I park my bike (I am aware of how sporty and girl-next-door I look in my sports cap and sports gear) and walk into Tampines Hub looking for a nice cafe for breakfast, thanking God for my healthy body, my slimness, my ability to get around... being with my kids and enjoying them... planning and cooking a nice meal for my friends, family, tidying and putting things in order in the home... watching the occasional movie in the theatre which is such a treat... curling up in bed with excitement as my Husband loads the latest TV series we are watching cos the kids are fast asleep.... laughing with my friends over some joke, well, actually a lot of these things don't cost me much.  So do I need to kill myself at work climbing further?  I don't.  I should do my job well (that seems to be in jeapordy here, but I can always say I'm still learning) and not try to do my boss' job (which I feel I am constantly trying to do, it's like a personal challenge to myself, an unconscious thing I do almost).  Sigh need to keep a rein in on my emotions. I know my weaknesses here are - not being able to articulate the benefits of what we are proposing to the bosses in a way that makes it easy for them to agree, not being able to respond to my staff disagreeing or undermining what I say in a clever and uncombative way, and also having all the history of things at my fingertips, to respond very quickly to questions fired by bosses over WhatsApp or meetings, and having a poker face when I am asked something I don't know offhand or being challenged about our previous position and I am too easily swayed by new arguments and can't remember why we did what we need.  Also need to develop some Armour to when l am being criticised and learn how to diffuse the temper of the person.  I Guess these are things I will work on this coming year.  Will see if I manage to make any improvements at the end of the year!

I am in heaven!

Hello dear reader,

In case you thought you are reading a posthumous post, fear not, I have not died and then possessed someone to write about it (if I did it would be pretty cool though). Haha ok so why I am just bubbling over with excitement is because I discovered this new fantastic author called Jeremy Robinson.

This is how is happened. First I picked up this brand new book displayed at the "New Arrivals" section of the Tampines library, called "Project Nemesis". It has an incredibly cheesy B-grade cover showing some Godzilla-like creature rearing on its two feet and stomping something. Not the typical book I'd pick up in a library. However I was in a rush (as usual) and just needed to grab some promising-looking book to read after I finish with Sophie Kinsella's latest book "My not so perfect life". So yes, I was looking for a change of style and pace, maybe something a little more action-packed and hard-hitting. I had NO idea what I was landing myself into. Cos these spur-of-the-moment picks are very hit and miss, usually they end up being draggy, not very engaging, and I return them after reading a few chapters. However, this book, oh wow. I don't know where to begin. It's simply cracking, fast-paced, almost non-stop action and suspense from the get-go. His action sequences are long, elaborate and one-after-another. Reading it feels a little bit like watching "Train to Busan", where the heart-thumping action never ends. He has such incredible imagination on endless ways to throw his characters into more and more hot soup, and coming up with mind-boggling, ingenious ways to get them out. I just say when I read it on my daily commute on the train, my eyes are glued to the pages and I have this lips-parted, holding -my-breath look of incredulity the whole time. Not a very glam look, I know. But then again, most people on the train are too busy being glued to their own screens or sleeping to notice.

So anyways, I realised the depth of my addiction this author when I realised yesterday after I got into my husband's car (he often gives me a lift home), then I left my book in the office. I felt like rearing up my head in fury and screaming like those monsters he writes about. The feeling of loss and withdrawal I felt, knowing that I would not have his juicy book on the train in my morning commute the next day, felt worse than caffeine withdrawal. That was when I knew I am in deep. Then last night, as I was at the playground with my kids and hubby (yes we are odd parents who bring our kids downstairs after dinner for a runaround before bed), I decided to bring along my Hp and google this author, just to see what other people are saying about his rip-roaring writing style.

I couldn't believe my eyes when the first thing I see is a list of images of the books he published. As I scrolled left, I couldn't help chuckling to myself, that he had written not one, but quite a few books. There's more!!! And then I clicked on some other links and discovered that this author had actually written a jaw-dropping sixty over novels and novellas!!! He is so prolific! I feel like a kid who got way more than he expected for Christmas, or a poor kid who just entered a candy store and told he can grab as much as he wants. Even better than striking lottery I think. I've discovered another Robin Cook-like author who is even more prolific than Robin cook! Only instead of medical thrillers, he writes sci-fi Monster action thrillers.

Ok so since I don't have my beloved book with me his morning, I decided to use it so blog about it. Not a bad waste of time after all, is it? If you love Jeremy's Robinson too, give me a shout!:)

Finding a cause to support

Inspired by "The Year Without a Purchade", I prayed which cause I should give of my money to, should I want to give away more money to furthering God's key ngdom. As I closed my eyes on the train and mentally ran through the different people groups and causes, nothing really stood out to me until I reached the elderly as a group. Something in my heart leapt. Something about th elderly.

How I Spent Vesak Day

Vesak Day came upon me as a surprise mid-week, and having just come back from legoland Malaysia last weekend (more on that in my next post), I was totally unprepared. What to do with the kids? Should we bring them out AGAIN? Should we just buy that lego X-Wing toy my elder boy has been badgering us to buy and so gain some peace in the household (as he will be busy fixing up those thousands of pieces)?

In the end, my body sort of dictated what to do. As I was coming down with a bad case of runny nose with lots of mucus that would suddenly flow from my nose and demand blowing it in a most vigorous manner, and a tight throat that would lend itself to incessant coughing bouts, I decided in my muggy state of mind on Tue night that I really needed a good sleep on the public holiday, and that is what I did. I turned in relatively early, pleading feeling ill to get my Husband to do more of the chores of putting the kids to bed, and fell asleep at a decent time. Just so happened that since I slept relatively early, I ended up waking up at 7 plus am bright and chipper and feeling much better (ah the powers of sleeping early!). So seized by my newfound sense of well-being, I decided to make a batch of banana pancakes, after mentally taking stock and confirming I had all the ingredients I would need on hand. Turns out the website with the recipe is a little misleading on the prep time and cooking time for the pancakes. Digging in my overstuffed fridge to locate that bottle of baking powder and walking back and forth from the dish rack to get all manner of bowls and spoons and forks took me quite a while and ended up with quite a respectable mess of bowls and dishes for he maid to clean at the end. However, the end result? Respectable pancakes that fed each of my sleepy children as they woke up and I took care to feed them milk later, so they would have appetite to eat. My mum, Husband and maid also each got a pancake and my maid was most appreciative, saying the pancakes were very yummy and she could taste the banana. I realised the pancakes went better with a big dollop of jam and even better with Nutella. Eventually my Daughter caught on and only wanted to eat spoonfuls that were 3/4 Nutella and 1/4 pancake.

Then after a nutritious breakfast, I actually left my kids to their own devices for a while (not before defrosting some meat for lunch) and actually sat down to organise my research for "Difficult Teachings of Christ" which I am facilitating in a few weeks time and to plan my lesson(s). I ended up with about 10-12 possible lessons. And I was scratching my head how not to make it another "lesson" on anger or overcoming sin, but that is a lesson that would challenge them to do something specific and out of the ordinary. And that they would slowly but gradually change to become different from the mould of society and stand out as Christ followers.

Anyway, I spent a good 15 minutes doing this to classical music and was thoroughly enjoying myself when I got distracted by some kid needing attention. Could also be my own short attention span. So I bathed each kid and got them changed into day clothes and then did some exercise book on phonics with Hao En. Again I'm amazed at his memory cos he seems to recall poems we read many days or even weeks ago. The night before when my hubby was reading a book to them, he asked Hao En to read some pages and I was quite pleased to note he can read common words like "the" and "it".

Ok then I started cooking their pasta pork lunch and after again googling for recipes, I saw a picture I liked with pumpkin and kale, confirmed Hao En didn't like the tomato based kind, and started cooking. The satisfaction was in setting out the food really early and letting it cool, and at around 11 plus am when I think the kids would start to get hungry, I just set the food out on the table and they started eating! Easy roast. Then needing a bit of me time, I went off to Tampines Mall food court armed with my latest book (this hilarious, laugh-out-loud book called "The Year Without a Purchase" written by a genuinely funny guy) and had a peaceful Long lunch. Then I headed back and realised both my Father and hubby think it's a bad idea to swim right after a rain (something about pool water being dirty). So after a bit, including my kids asking for another round of the pasta, I had the idea that we should pump the tires of my hubby's bike and take the kids out for a bike ride. We got ready and I set off with Jeanine to go to Tampines interchange to collect my bike which was parked there while the men went to pump the tires with the boys. To cut a Long story short, we cycled around the Neighbourhood with each kid and then ended the day with yummy and cheap zi char at the Coffeeshop near my house. What I realised was that it is difficult to have a deep conversation with one's parents, even if the kids are not there to distract you.

Then we got back and I hit the sack with the kids and fell asleep with them soon after. It was quite a good holiday and I think I do enjoy cooking for my family and indulging in free and healthy past times :)